Conversations in Cars
by lillypilly11
Summary: "Give it time," Katherine said. "We've all got plenty of it on our hands." Damon and Elena, post-Sacrifice.
1. Chapter 1

Notes: A post-Sacrifice story, with a few filler scenes towards the end of the ep. After that episode, I just wanted _more_. So I started writing more. And then I saw 'By the Light of the Moon' and... yeah. Kind of underwhelming. I call do-over.

This will probably be a another short wip (I don't really do long series, they don't go well with my short attention span). There will be some Stefan/Katherine, and Stefan/Elena, just warning you now.

* * *

_**Conversations **__**in **__**Cars**_

_**...**_

They left Slater's apartment behind, stepping over the gory remains of Elijah's victims. Trepidation was heavy in the air as they took the stairs down to the street, having been left with the distinct impression that they were safe and well when they shouldn't be.

Elena looked along the alley, into the deep shadow cast between buildings where Rose had parked - the black SUV was gone. With some reluctance she turned to see the smug satisfaction on his face.

"Looks like someone needs a ride." His eyes barely lighted on her, busy assessing their surroundings. "Let's get the hell out of here; you can thank me in the car."

"For what?"

"Fine, you can be pissy with me in the car."

He was herding her over to the camaro, which was parked at a haphazard angle to the curb not far away. With no other choice, she let him hustle her into the passenger seat before flashing around to take his place behind the wheel.

Her mind raced, going over what had just happened, trying to make sense of it. Her eyes fixed on the side of Damon's face as he manoeuvred through late-afternoon traffic.

The moment she opened her mouth to speak he flipped the radio on, music loud enough to discourage conversation filling the car. She wanted to talk, but he wasn't in the mood to listen, his mouth set in a grim line belying the casual ease with which he drove.

Of course, he couldn't answer her questions any more than she could, and beyond that she had nothing to say to him. Nothing civil, anyway. With a sigh, she sank lower in her seat, resting her elbow on the window ledge and her head in her hand. It was a long, silent trip back to Mystic Falls.

**...**

The news that Stefan was now trapped in the tomb did not go over well.

He dogged her heels all the way through the woods; since finding her back in Richmond hours ago he hadn't been more than a few feet from her side. It was beginning to look like the only possible way to keep her from doing anything else completely insane.

"Now we're not going to do anything hasty, are we?" he said as they approached the old ruins of the church. "Let's not overreact here - the tomb spell comes down, it goes back up again, we've been over this a time or two by now."

"Glad to see you're so worried about your own brother."

"I'm saying there's no point panicking or doing anything stupid." He suddenly dodged in front of her, blocking her path and forcing her to meet his eye. "Right?"

She took a steadying breath and nodded once, showing her compliance. Seeing this he relaxed his stance, prepared to go down to see Stefan now that she was calmer. Elena took this as her chance to dash around him and throw herself down the narrow steps, yelling Stefan's name.

He took a moment, casting his eyes skyward. The stupidity of this day continued unabated.

In a flicker of speed he was down at the tomb entrance, yanking Elena back just as she was about to go where he couldn't follow.

**...**

After his chat with Stefan, Damon retook the stairs back up into the quiet woods by night. Elena was there, her back to him, she'd barely made it a few yards from the top of the stone stairway.

"We are going to get him out of there," she said without turning around.

"That's the plan."

"Oh there's a plan? Of course there is." She rounded on him. "So what is the plan now, Damon?"

"Bonnie knows the spell, we just have to get her a little more juice. Find another witch, maybe get that chick from the masquerade ball back here - whatever it takes, we'll get it done."

"Find another witch, that's it? That's a crappy excuse for a plan you've got there. Are you kidding me?"

He shrugged. "Just seems like kind of the day for that sort of thing, doesn't it?"

It was a quiet trip back to her house, his only accompaniment the return of her aggrieved silence.

"Think you can make it up to your room without trying to get yourself killed again?" he said while they took the steps up to the porch.

"You're trusting me to go inside my own house by myself?"

"For now." He returned her sour look mildly. "And Elena? _Don__'__t_ go back to the tomb, hm?"

"You're going back tomorrow, right?" she challenged immediately. "You'll have to take blood to Stefan. I'm going with you."

"Nope."

"Then I'll go back on my own. You can't watch me every second."

It was the wrong thing to say. His expression hardened.

She didn't have the market cornered on stubborn.

"I shouldn't have tried to go in there, okay?" she admitted. "I won't do it again, but I need to see him. Damon, we have to make sure he knows we haven't just abandoned him down there."

"With Katherine."

"This isn't about her."

He was watching her carefully. "No, I guess it's not."

"Tomorrow, we'll go back."

"Sure."

She thought he was agreeing too easily. "You promise?"

"If you promise not to go back there on your own."

"Fine."

"Fine."

There was a hint of amusement on his features. He was looking right through her.

She couldn't be trusted to keep that promise any more than he could. Right now they were the two least trustworthy people in the world. Because she would say or do anything if it meant her friends and family were safe, and he would do the same if it meant that she was.

At least they knew where they stood.

"I'm tired," she said.

He started backing away, down off the porch. "Been a big day, get some sleep. Everything will look brighter in the morning."

"I don't need you to lie to me, Damon." She turned her back on him, opening the door to go in.

"Elena, if today has proven anything, it's that you have absolutely no idea what you need."

She felt his eyes on her back until she closed the door.

**...**

Inside, she quickly took the stairs up and went straight into the bathroom, locking the doors before turning on the shower and stripping off as the water heated up.

She stayed in the shower for a long time.

After a while spent standing under the pounding spray she sank down to sit on the shower floor, hunched against the back wall. She wasn't crying, just sitting. So long as she was in here she wouldn't have to see Jeremy, who would want to apologise again for getting Stefan stuck in the tomb. She wouldn't have to talk to Jenna and pretend once again that nothing was wrong, another lie to pile on top of all the other lies. She wouldn't have to answer her phone when Bonnie called, distraught because she hadn't been strong enough, or Caroline, wanting to know if she was okay.

She didn't want to deal with any of them - the people for whom she'd been so determined to die today. She'd failed them all, and no one seemed to understand that. The one person she suddenly needed badly to have on her side had spent the day berating her and bullying her and making foolish, unnecessary attempts to save her life when it was the opposite of what she wanted.

She'd never been more at odds with Damon. There was something almost sad about that, but she refused to dwell on the lingering sense of loss she felt sometimes lately when she thought of him - it was only as incomprehensible as her feelings for him had ever been. All except one. She focused on the anger and frustration simmering inside her, let it finally drive her up and out of the shower, then into her bedroom where she shut the windows firmly and locked them. The anger was all she had left, and it would keep her going for now.

**...**

When her alarm went off she got up wearily, exhausted after a night of fitful half-sleep.

She made it to the bathroom, but when she emerged a few minutes later she found she'd reached the extent of her drive, and sank back down on the end of her bed.

She was still sitting there ten minutes later, listening to the sounds of Jenna and Jeremy moving around the house carrying out a typical morning routine.

She missed his entrance somehow, but that was typical too. One second she was alone, the next Damon was there. She looked automatically towards the window, but found it still shut tight.

"Jeremy let me in," he said.

She realised her bedroom door was standing open behind him. Well that answered that question. She could only assume he'd been outside all night, but didn't bother asking.

"What are you doing?" he spoke again when she didn't respond.

"Nothing. I'm doing nothing."

"I can see that. Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?"

"What's the point?" She lifted her eyes to his. "No really, calculus somehow seems even less relevant than usual when I'm going to be dead sooner rather than later."

"Mm, I love the smell of fatalism in the morning. Get up, Elena. Get dressed, go to school. If there's no point to anything, then why the hell not, right?"

"Fine." She dragged herself to her feet. "Because everything will be just fine if I listen to you, of course."

"Think we established that yesterday, yes."

"I make one decision and everything turns out worse. Jeremy's almost killed getting the moonstone, Bonnie almost kills herself trying to get him out of the tomb, Stefan gets himself locked away forever. We lose Rose, who was a strong ally and the only person we know who knows anything about any of this - our only connection to the Originals not counting Katherine. Guess I should have just stayed in bed yesterday."

"Elena -"

"No, you were right. Forget it. I'm going to school." She crossed to her closet and opened it, staring blankly at the contents. "Any ideas on what I should wear? I'd hate to pick the wrong jacket and end the world as we know it."

"Well now you're being a little overly dramatic. Fine." He elbowed her out of the way, flicking through her clothes, and from right at the back where things she never wore but hadn't bothered getting rid of resided, he produced a tiny pair of denim cut-offs and a bright red halter top. "How about these?" he smirked.

"Fine." She grabbed them, stopped at her dresser for underwear, and headed into the bathroom where she changed and brushed her hair mechanically, emerging after a few minutes to find him lounging right by the bathroom door.

"You're seriously going to go out like that?"

She turned to find him idly checking out her legs, his expression amused, and suddenly the tide of anger she'd been coasting on all morning rose up and broke over her. "What?" she demanded, hands flung out. "What, Damon? Am I entertaining you? Isn't this outfit hot enough for you? Tell me. If you want so badly to make all my decisions for me then please tell me! Tell me what I should do now." Her voice broke and she once again fought back the tears she'd been denying herself since last night.

He came forward, approaching her like she was some wild animal that might flee at any second.

"Tell me what to do," she insisted bitterly. "Since you're so sure you're right about everything."

She closed her mouth tight on a gasp when he took her wrist in his hand, and then the other. She thought he was going to pull her towards him and her stomach dropped as her eyes fell away from his to land on his chest, waiting. But he just manoeuvred her around, forcing her to step back until the her legs met the edge of the bed and he gave her a small push to make her sit. He let go, but remained leaning over her. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes.

"Go to school, Elena. Call Caroline or Bonnie to come pick you up, and then go to school. You can find something else to wear first, if you want. You look a little like a cheap hooker right now, but I've always had a soft spot for cheap hookers so you really don't need to change on my account. I'll pick you up after school, and we'll go see Stefan. That's what you wanted, right?"

Remembering Stefan, she came back to herself a little. "Yes."

"Then we don't have a problem, do we?"

Gently, he brushed her hair back behind her ear. Then the light touch was gone and she blinked slowly, expecting him to have disappeared when she looked up. Instead he was casually sauntering out the door the regular way, and she realised he was right - it really didn't matter either way. But at least the anger was still there. She needed it now more than ever.

**...**

Walking through the woods again. How many times had their feet traced this particular path this past year?

Elena walked a few paces ahead of him. She had changed clothes, it turned out, before heading off to school. It was vaguely comforting on some level to see her usual jeans-sneakers-tee combo after the erratic behaviour he'd been witness to in the past twenty-four hours.

Her meltdown in her room that morning had left him unsettled, he didn't know what to do with an Elena so clearly on the brink of losing control - anger and apathy at war in her eyes, tension and weary resignation spelled out across the hunch of her shoulders, her bowed head. But if she was glaring at him from behind perfectly straightened hair while trudging along in her favourite old chucks then she couldn't be that far gone.

"What are we going to tell him?" she broke the silence suddenly. "Nothing's changed, he's still stuck down there."

"Try and keep up, Elena," he taunted, as much to provoke some sort of reaction from her as because - it was just what he did. "Bonnie's all over it. She said something about that new witchy boyfriend of hers - thinks he might be able to help. Stefan'll be out in no time, don't you worry."

"Are you lying to me right now?"

He looked sideways at her, considering. Another truth or another lie - he settled on truth, since she'd probably worked it out for herself by now anyway. "Yes. Are you going to lose it again?"

Her jaw tightened. "Just tell me."

"Breaking the moonstone curse is our priority whether you like it or not. If Bonnie is going to burn herself out on anything right now, it'll be _that_, not another failed attempt to bring down the only barrier keeping Katherine from wreaking havoc on the world again. Stefan is screwed. But I will get him out of there, I'm not going to leave him down there to rot forever with Queen Bitchzilla herself. You'll get him back, and the two of you will live happily ever after, just as you were always meant to. It's just... kind of way down the bottom of the to-do list, after 'break the curse', 'save your ass', 'take out a few supremely powerful Originals', 'save the world', and 'look good doing it', m'kay?"

"No, none of this is okay."

"I know. But it's what Stefan made me promise, so there you go."

She froze, and he walked on without her a little way before looking back.

"He knows he's not getting out?" she said quietly.

"Well, yeah. A real trooper, our Stefan. Come on, we'll go see him and you can have your hallmark moment, and then we can go focus on things that actually matter."

The ruins were just up ahead, and he made for the stone steps, hearing her slowly begin to follow. He was halfway down to the underground room before realising she'd stopped again. He looked back to see her there, unmoving, at the top of the stairs.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head mutely. After a moment, she sank down in place, seating herself on one of the narrow steps.

"Really? After all the fuss?" No response. He sighed. "Suit yourself," he muttered before continuing down below ground.

"Knock-knock," he called as he reached the tomb entrance, peering along the dim passageway. "Special delivery for a Mister Stefan Salvatore."

"What is it, Damon?" Stefan appeared from the darkness, arms folded over his chest.

"Nice to see you, too. Brought you something to read." He reached into the bag slung over his shoulder and produced a thick novel, which he tossed to Stefan.

"_Ulysses_? You shouldn't have. Really."

Damon couldn't restrain his smirk - not that he tried very hard. He knew Stefan hated Joyce. "It's long," he offered.

"And that's very reassuring, thanks." Stefan examined the book as he carefully said, "That's not all you brought."

His gaze moved up to meet Damon's, and then flicked past him towards the stairs. Damon shrugged back at him as if to say, _what __are __you__ going __to __do__? __It__'__s__ Elena_. After a moment, Stefan nodded slightly, conceding the point.

"You're right," Damon said aloud. "I also brought this." He drew out a plastic bottle filled with blood. "Not sure if you want it, thought I'd leave it up to you. Your cellmate might shiv you for it, anyway."

"I don't mind sharing," Katherine said as she came slinking out of the shadows. "Probably won't be as sweet as my last meal, of course. There's really something about that Gilbert blood, hm? I know you must have had a taste, Stefan. What about you, Damon, have you tasted Elena yet? No? Well she'll come around, give it time. We've all got plenty of it on our hands, don't we?"

"Could you go be incredibly transparent somewhere else?" Damon said tightly. "Trying to have a conversation with my brother here."

"Just because you think you know my intentions, doesn't make what I'm saying any less true. But sure, I'll go, it's a big tomb. And I do love seeing you boys getting along - you know the last thing I ever wanted to do was come between you."

Both men stared at her until she had wandered back into the darkness, a guileless smile playing at her lips.

"Take the blood," Damon said, thrusting it across the barrier. "We don't need you weak right now, and going cold turkey could reverse all the good work you've been doing with your diet lately."

"Thought it was up to me," Stefan said lightly, but took the bottle nonetheless.

"Screw it. And here, guess this one's for her." He grabbed another from the bag and tossed it over. "'Cause let's face it, she's really not the sharing type."

"No, I'm not." Katherine was back beside Stefan in a flash, her hand closing over her share of the meal. She wasted no time ripping the lid off the bottle and taking a long drink. Her reaction was almost amusing to watch, her face contorting in disgust as she obviously wavered between swallowing and spitting the blood out. Finally she managed to keep it down. "What is this?"

"Half-and-half, a Stefan special."

"It's half animal blood? Is that why I feel like I just licked three-day-old road kill?"

Stefan had opened his own bottle and calmly sipped from it. "It's not that bad, actually."

"It's pig, hit up the local butchers," Damon offered.

"Huh. Blends well."

"You know what they say about the other white meat."

Katherine's revulsion had not abated. "I didn't think I _could_ vomit, I haven't in half a millenia anyway, but I'm seriously considering it right now. How could you do it, Stefan? All this time. We're vampires, we feast on life itself, we don't wallow at the bottom of the food chain. It's obscene."

"Little over-dramatic, don't you think?" Stefan said mildly.

"No, she's right Stefan," Damon interjected, "I wouldn't touch that stuff with a ten-foot barge pole, and asbestos-lined safety gloves. So hey, Katherine, do enjoy your meal. Stefan, it's been real. I'll see you when I've got news. You need anything else? Stake? Earplugs? Something to gird your loins? Just say the word."

"We'll be fine."

"Speak for yourself." Katherine thrust the half-full bottle at Stefan as she turned away. "I'm not hungry enough for this yet - it's all yours. Bye Damon." She gave a little wave over her shoulder. Then she raised her voice to call out, "Bye Elena!"

"Don't bring her next time," Stefan said under his breath.

"She needed to come. She's losing it, Stefan, and I am _not_ exactly the poster child for mental stability myself so this is hardly in my wheelhouse," he hissed back, leaning as close to the barrier as he dared. "I can't fix what's wrong with her, I can barely manage to keep her from getting herself _killed_ and that's only just _without_ resorting to physical violence. I'm one temper tantrum away from shaking her till her teeth rattle, Stefan."

"It's uh, it's funny, Damon, you coming to me with girl trouble."

"Cute."

"Just a thought, but did you try talking to her, instead of ordering her around and threatening her?"

"Been there, done that, over it. The softer, kinder Damon is taking a back seat because let's face it, I'm really, really good at giving orders and threatening people. Not to mention hand-holding and ego-stroking is a little counter-intuitive when I'm watching that Elijah guy, back from the dead did I mention, ripping out hearts and taking names."

Stefan pinched his nose. "Don't tell me these things when I can't _do_ anything, Damon. Could you maybe just deal with it? And by that I mean, grow up, and talk to her."

With a shake of his head, he started to back away. "Taking relationship advice from my baby brother. What is the world coming to? Oh, here." He paused long enough to toss the backpack across the barrier, where it landed at Stefan's feet. "Rest of the care package. Be good, Stefan. Don't have to much fun down here."

Back up the stairs, then, stooping briefly as he neared the top to take hold of Elena's arm and pull her up beside him. She allowed herself to be led away from the steps but then shook off his hold.

"So what was that?" he said.

"I couldn't... How am I supposed to look at him when he's stuck down there, maybe forever, and it's my fault?"

"I can see how that would be awkward. Next time I'll just come alone, and everyone will be happy, hm? So... how much of it did you hear?" he added carefully.

"I didn't hear anything that surprised me."

"Elena -"

"And I _don__'__t_ want to talk to you."

"Aw!" he whined in mock disappointment. He was the recipient of a stony glare. "What? I don't want to talk to you, either."

A minute or so of silence passed while they traipsed back to the car.

It was Elena who broke first. "Have you heard from Rose? Have you called her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why would I?"

"Aren't you and she..."

"What?" he said as they came out of the trees onto the road.

"Nothing, forget it. But you should call her. Find out where she is."

He shook his head shortly. "Don't need her. She's unreliable, a loose cannon."

"She's a loose end. She knows everything we know, and she's out there, and we don't know what she's doing."

He pointed at her over the roof of the car as he opened the door. "Now that's the kind of mercenary thinking I can get behind."

"If it's mercenary you want -"

"Don't even bother." He slid behind the wheel, smiling tightly over at her as she got in beside him "Nice try, though."

They pulled onto the road. Elena drew one knee up to her chest, heel digging into the edge of the seat.

"You still haven't given me a single reason why it isn't an option," she said quietly.

"You ending up dead? Not an option. Weren't you _not_ talking to me? I was enjoying that."

"You live, Stefan lives, hell _Katherine_ will live. If the alternative is everyone including me getting killed by the Originals, then it's logical. It's _smart_. You're a fan of smart."

"I'll give you a reason. Because we don't have all the information, Elena," he bit out, enunciating every syllable nice and clear for her benefit, "This Elijah dude, what's his story? He had his chance at you and he didn't take it. I don't know what that's about, _you_ don't know, and until we do, throwing yourself in the path of the Originals with no idea of the outcome isn't logical, it isn't smart, it is, in fact, dumb. It's dumb, Elena. And that you can't _see_ that just confirms how seriously you have lost your grip on reality."

"Who cares? I'm the doppelganger, everyone has a plan for me - even you and Stefan and Bonnie... My life isn't my own, I have no say in any of this. So what does it matter, Damon, if the end result is the same."

His foot slammed onto the brake so hard she flew forward in her seat. He could have put out his arm and prevented her painful collision with the dashboard but if she was going to neglect to put on her seatbelt and then sit there being completely infuriating then as far as he was concerned she deserved a few bruises.

"What the hell?" she cried as she pushed herself back into her seat, looking around to see them stopped in the middle of the deserted road.

"That is a monumental load of crap, Elena, and you know it. It matters - you _look __at __me_," he spat harshly, demanding her full attention. "It matters."

"Why does it matter?" Her eyes searched his face and the question changed. "Why do I matter to you?"

It was his turn to avoid her gaze, his hands returned to the steering wheel where they gripped tightly. He started to drive again. "Because - hey, if you go ahead and succumb to your fate on my watch I will never hear the end of it from Stefan."

She watched the side of his face until he pulled up at her house a few minutes later, idling on the curb.

Finally, she sighed. "You're lying, Damon. You're lying to me, and if you honestly believe what you just said then you're lying to yourself most of all."


	2. Chapter 2

Author Notes: I don't know how this chapter became so ungodly long (over 8500 words) and I could have cut it in half I guess but I have an outline for this story and everything that happens in this chapter is_ supposed to happen in this chapter damn it!_ So, sorry for the long read, but know that it appeases my OCD or something.

* * *

_**Conversations in Cars**_

_**part two**_

_**...**_

She sat in her room, on her bed, and took a careful tally.

Another day, another uncomfortably tense encounter with Damon. Or three.

Another unsuccessful visit to the tomb to see Stefan.

A continuing failure on her and everyone else's parts to address the pressing threat of the Originals and the curse hanging over their collective heads.

Not a great day.

And by now everyone knew about her plan to sacrifice herself, and she was being watched from every angle. If she was going to try again to contact Klaus it would take more finesse than simply 'ask Rose' could deliver.

Of course she was going to try again, it was just a matter of timing. Not tonight, though. Tonight, she would do something normal, like eat dinner with her family, and watch TV, if only to remind herself that it was still possible - for now at least.

She got up, leaning over to absently smooth down the covers on her bed on her way out of the room. As she straightened she brushed her hair back behind her ear, turning to the door. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw it, a dark figure behind her in the mirror. _Him_.

She screamed, whirling around to find - no one there. She had seen Elijah in the mirror, she was sure of it, but she was alone.

She turned again to check the mirror, but by the time she looked again the reflection of her room had returned to normal and Jeremy was there with her, grabbing her arm and looking around frantically for the source of danger. "What is it?"

"Nothing. Nothing, Jer, sorry. I - I saw a shadow and jumped. It was stupid."

"Elena?" Jenna's voice came from downstairs. "You okay up there?"

Jeremy was still staring at her, obviously having a tough time believing her.

"Sorry, I just saw a spider!" she called back to her aunt before Jenna had time to worry, the lie falling easily from her lips.

"Oh god," the disembodied response was immediate. Jenna hated spiders. "Please tell me it's dead. Is it dead? Don't tell me it got away - I like this house and I'd hate to have to move."

Jeremy answered this time. "I got it, Jenna. Chill." Then, more quietly, "Seriously, Elena, nothing?"

"I'll chill when it's dead Jeremy Gilbert! Is it dead?"

"Yeah, I got it," Jeremy yelled back, never taking his eyes off his sister. "Don't worry, it's dead."

"Are you just lying to placate me now?"

"Well, are we lying, Elena?" Jeremy said.

When Jenna spoke again she was halfway up the stairs and her voice reached them more clearly. "Don't get me wrong, I mean I'm cool with that, just don't tell me the truth."

The conversation in two parts had gone past absurd, and Elena rolled her eyes and went to stick her head out her door. "Everything's fine, Jenna."

Jenna smiled up at her through the banisters. "I believe you."

"I don't even think I could count on both hands the number of times I lie to her every day," she couldn't help saying quietly as she went back into her room.

"You ever think about telling her?" Jeremy said.

"I worry we might have to one of these days."

"Elena, you'd tell me if something was going on, right? Something else, I mean."

"Yeah, of course." She made herself smile, like it was the truth.

But he was still watching her; everyone was watching her. Maybe including someone nobody expected.

**...**

Stefan lingered near the invisible barrier for a long time after Damon left, taking Elena off with him. Hopefully taking her home, where she would be safe, or safer, at least. He stood there watching the light from above fade, casting the outer chamber in deeper shadow, then full darkness.

It was then that he became aware of the light approaching from within the tomb, as Katherine came down the passageway swinging a lantern from her fingers.

There was a time, before he ever new Elena, when he studied this human girl from afar, searching for any sign of the woman he had known in 1864.

Now when he looked at Katherine he had trouble not seeing everything there was of Elena in her. They were so different, it should have been easier to separate them in his mind. Would he never be free of her? The thought occurred to him often. But perhaps she was part of his penance, and he would be free of Katherine when he was free of the memories of his darkest deeds. In other words - never.

He turned from the empty doorway and the darkness beyond and moved past her, retreating, avoiding, before she could say anything.

It was his only option, really. The day before she had tried to coax him into conversation all day, teasing, flirting, provoking. She'd gone into his dreams the one and only time he'd dozed off. He'd sleep again eventually, they both would, but for now he'd avoid that too, as long as he could.

"What else did Damon bring us?" Katherine called after him.

"Look for yourself," he replied. The backpack was sitting back near the entrance, untouched, next to an empty plastic bottle and a copy of _Ulysses_.

"Hm, candles, lighters, fuel for the lantern - boring. A deck of playing cards - how thoughtful. Another book. Hm, do you think this one's for me?" She trailed after him, the circle of low light surrounding him again. He looked back as she withdrew a hardcover novel from the bag and held it up so he could see the cover. _Eat, Pray, Love_. She tossed the book away with a wry laugh. "Damon always did have a good sense of humour."

"Not one I ever shared. Two books neither of us wants to read, and a deck of cards that probably has one card missing. That's the kind of thing Damon finds humorous." He smiled wanly. "Probably the queen of hearts."

Katherine removed the cards from the box and thumbed through them. After a moment she declared, "Fifty-two, all there. You were wrong, Stefan. Maybe that's the kind of thing _you_ find funny, deep down. Or maybe Damon just has a little too much going on right now to spend time on silly jokes."

She dropped the cards back in the bag and let it fall to the floor as she drew near. "That Elena, she's a real handful, isn't she?" As she brushed past him she pressed something into his hand - a card. He glanced down, knowing what he would find. The queen of hearts. "Give me a yell if you want a game of Go Fish." A laugh echoed through the tomb as darkness surrounded him once more. "Or Snap."

**...**

It had been two days now since Elena had seen Damon, but just because she hadn't seen him, didn't mean he hadn't been there.

For example, though she didn't test the theory, she was pretty sure he was watching her house at night.

During the day she was less certain of his physical presence at any given moment, but it didn't actually matter.

Because he'd gotten to everyone.

Her brother, her friends - Bonnie and Caroline seemed to be taking it in shifts never leaving her side, even though she knew they both had more important things to deal with. Caroline was helping prepare Tyler for the full moon which was in just a few days, while Bonnie was working with Luka, trying to work out how to break the moonstone curse. Still, one or the other was almost always at her side, between classes or driving her home after school.

Jeremy was in on it too, of course, and he was the worst - he was so disappointed and angry about what she'd tried to do in Richmond, and it was so hard not to respond to that. He simply couldn't understand what she was willing to do to protect him and everyone else; he loved her too much. She appreciated that. It still didn't change anything.

She'd caught all three of them getting and sending texts at random times that they were too careful to keep her from seeing. She knew exactly who they were messaging.

Even Alaric. Whether in class or in the evening when he was hanging out at her house, he kept eyeing her like she was going to dive out the window at any second in a desperate bid for freedom. He'd tried to talk to her after History the first day back at school after everything happened - it was as awkward and uncomfortable a conversation as she'd ever had, and he was clearly hating having it as much as she was. She told him she was fine, that whatever Damon had told him, he'd been exaggerating, and she got the hell out of there. She wasn't sure which one of them was more relieved.

The whole situation was humiliating.

Damon had taken on the role of stalker-slash-bodyguard with relish, and it was all the more infuriating that he was doing it from afar, by manipulating the people around her, and so denying her even the small satisfaction of hating him to his smirking face.

For two days she'd been in a holding pattern. Two days of not going to the tomb, not trying to find a way to reach Klaus, worrying about when the other shoe would drop and not being able to do a thing to stop it. She may as well have been lojacked.

She had to do _something_. Even if it was the one thing she really didn't want to do.

Caroline was waiting by her locker after school.

"I wanted to bite Marissa Gordan's face off during Chem lab today. Aren't you proud of me that I didn't?"

"Um, sure." Elena swapped her books for her messenger bag, arranging the strap over head so it crossed her body. "Although Marissa was my partner for a Biology project last year, so I actually know the feeling."

She gave Caroline a small smile. She was making an effort not to be resentful. They were her friends and they were doing this because they cared. They were _wrong_, but she couldn't exactly hate them for it.

She closed her locker and they set off together, Caroline making conversation as they made their way out to the student parking lot. She mentioned Tyler, and Elena asked how that was going.

"Do you think you'll be ready to handle it? You've only got a few more days, right?"

"Well Tyler kind of yelled at me today when I asked him for an update. I'm going to let him stew overnight, think about whether he really wants to piss off the only person willing and able to help him, and revisit in the morning when he's suitably apologetic."

"He doesn't stand a chance."

"Of course he doesn't. So hey, I'm free all night, want to hang out? We could watch bad tv at my place, you know my mom won't be home till whenever - oh, we can order Thai food! But I should warn you in advance, the amount of chicken pad lao I can put away in one sitting these days is not pretty."

She couldn't help smiling in the face of Caroline's onslaught of enthusiasm. "Um, maybe. Sounds fun." They reached Caroline's car, the other girl started looking for her keys. She took a breath, ready to get it over with. "Caroline, would you mind driving me to the boarding house? I..." She sighed. "I need to see him."

Caroline stared at her, surprised. "Sure," she replied slowly. The topic of Damon had been practically taboo through all this. "Do you have one of Mr Saltzman's terrifying stake guns like hidden in your purse?" She held up her hands. "No judging. Honestly, the last time I helped try to murder a really mean, scary vampire, I was brilliant. You want me on your team."

"_See_ him, Car, not stake him."

"Fine. I'm just saying."

She rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Let's go."

**...**

"Well, well, what a pleasant surprise," Damon appeared moments after they pushed their way through the front door. "What could possibly have brought you two to my door on this fine afternoon?"

"Um, well," Caroline began before Elena could speak. She realised Caroline was practically bouncing on her heels.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Oh like I had to ask." He jerked his head in the direction of the kitchen. "Beat it."

Caroline left Elena's side and scuttled past Damon, apparently eager for an afternoon snack. "It wasn't even my idea to come, Elena wanted to see you," she tossed over her shoulder before disappearing around a corner.

"Like I said, an unexpected pleasure," he said, continuing to play the gracious host. He reached around her to shut the heavy door, then moved away further into the house. "So come on in. What's up? Been a few days since we last caught up. Nice to see you with your head still attached to your body."

She trailed after him, refusing to be provoked.

"Oh hey, followed your advice and called Rose. I left a message. It's a continual surprise how she's totally failed to get back to me."

She held back a quip about how that must be a first for him - a girl not calling him back. She wasn't here to talk about Rose. "Have you been back to see Stefan? How is he?"

"Oh, he's great. Saw him this morning."

"He's great?"

"He's about as great as you would expect him to be, Elena, what exactly is there I can do about that besides precisely squat?"

"You mean, besides get him out of the tomb?"

"Yes, that's what I mean. You've become kind of an angry person of late, did you know that?"

"When are you going back?"

"He'll be hungry again in a day or two. We won't let him starve, don't you worry your little head."

"Yeah, well that's easier said than done."

"Listen," he said, his tone sobering somewhat as he made his way over to the ever-present collection of bottles and decanters. "You know I'm not going to leave him in there, right? We've had a couple extremely productive screaming matches lately, you and I, but I'm pretty sure I tried to convey that a time or two."

"Yes, you've said it."

He quirked an eyebrow over at her. "Don't trust me?"

She was caught for a moment, finding it difficult to answer the question. Because... in a way she trusted Damon more than anyone else in her life. But that trust came from knowledge rather than pure faith, and because she _knew_ him... It really wasn't about trust at all, it became about something else. A different kind of connection.

Finally she said, "I trust you not to leave Stefan in the tomb forever."

He caught how carefully she answered, and the smirk on his face deepened. "Good, that's good. I'm so glad."

"Me too."

"Heard from Bonnie about Project Kick That Moonstone's Ass - she's making progress with that mini-warlock, right?"

"Apparently."

"Well that's good too, aren't we happy about that? No? Still with the doom and gloom?"

"I want to see Stefan, next time you go. I'll go with you again, okay?"

"'Cause that turned out real well last time."

"Will you take me with you, or not?"

"I'll think about it."

"Fine. I'm sure you can find a way to let me know what you decide. Like, you could have someone pass along a message."

Suddenly he was a lot closer than he had been a moment ago. "Is there something else you wanted to see me about, Elena?"

They faced off for a moment. She was not going to explode at him about his stalking-by-proxy, it was just what he wanted. But he obviously knew it was bothering her, and that she _wanted_ to explode at him. And he knew that she knew he knew. And so, staring.

"No," she said finally. "Is there anything you needed to tell me about? Besides Rose not returning your calls?"

"Can't think of anything."

"Fine. Caroline!" she called. "Are you ready to go?"

"Um, almost!" came the disembodied reply from the direction of the kitchen.

"I'll wait out at the car. Bye, Damon." She went.

"Wait." The word held her frozen, two steps into the entrance hall. "All right, hang on," he muttered reluctantly as he joined her.

"What?"

"I'll take you to see him, you know I will."

She actually hadn't been expecting it to be that. "Oh. Thank you."

"Plus, I kinda lied. I haven't been back to the tomb. I was planning on going tomorrow, but I suppose I could move it up to this afternoon. If you really can't live without seeing your BF, who am I to stand in the way of that Stephanie Meyers level of devotion?"

"Why'd you change your mind?"

"You mean, who am I to stand in the way of you recklessly running off on your own to see him the second my back is turned? Plus, you know, you look at me with those big brown puppy-dog eyes - what am I, heartless?"

"I kind of assumed."

It was a joke, made automatically, the kind she would have made without thinking before all of this. Now she stopped and asked herself whether she really wanted to be joking around with him when she wasn't exactly feeling jovial and it kind of came out sounding like she wasn't joking at all.

Damon just quirked an eyebrow. "Nice. Wanna go see Stefan or you wanna insult me? I thought so. Hey Big Ears, you can come out, now."

Caroline appeared. "It's not like eavesdropping is something you can control when you have super hearing, okay?"

"Whatever. You done eating me out of house and home?"

Caroline held up a half-finished blood bag with a small, cheeky smile. "No, but I can take this to go."

"How I wish you would."

Caroline made a face at him, but paused on her way out with a more genuine smile for Elena. "Good luck with Stefan."

"I'll call you later. Thai food, remember?" It was a token offer, she felt bad for not being more enthusiastic about spending time with her friend. They hardly ever got to just hang out any more, and it wasn't Caroline's fault Damon was using her in his intricate web of surveillance and megalomanical control over her life.

"Sure, see you."

They gave each other a small wave and then Caroline was gone. Damon retraced Caroline's steps, ducking into the kitchen. Elena assumed to get blood from the refrigerator, but he returned with a large brown paper bag.

"Think you'll actually make it down the stairs, this time?" he remarked as they made their way out to his car, referring to her aborted visit to the tomb the other day when she hadn't been able to bring herself to see Stefan.

"I felt like I couldn't even face him," she admitted, looking out across the lawn to the trees beyond. "Now I just want to see him, no matter how awful it feels."

"Romantic," he muttered to himself so quietly she doubted whether she was meant to hear.

They got in the car, Damon tossing the brown paper bag in her lap. She opened it to peek inside as the car started down the long drive.

There were the bottles of blood she expected to see. But there was also a bunch of candy bars, a can of men's deodorant, a book of crossword puzzles, and a few magazines that looked distinctly like...

"_Porn?_"

Damon shrugged. "I just asked myself what _I_ would want if I was stuck in confined quarters with the original psychotic ex-girlfriend."

"So, chocolate and porn."

"There's also that." He glanced over his shoulder.

She swivelled to look where he indicated, peering at the odd-looking pile of scrunched up blue plastic lying on the back seat.

After the porn, she wasn't sure she wanted to even ask what it was.

He rolled his eyes, seeing her wary expression. "It's an inflatable couch. Just because you're living in a hole in the ground, doesn't mean you can't be comfy."

She raised her hand to her mouth, hiding a smile, then a reluctant laugh. "Don't you ever get tired of irritating him?"

"Who, Stefan? Century and a half, still hasn't gotten old."

She rolled her eyes. Then she thought of something, and reached for her bag, wedged on the seat beside her, and rifled in it till she found what she was after. "Book of crossword puzzles, no pen?" She held up a couple of ballpoints and pointedly added them to the paper sack.

"Gee, good thing you thought of that, Stefan would have found that innocent oversight on my part really irritating."

"Uh-huh."

**...**

When they pulled up to the side of the road at the increasingly familiar spot along the edge of the woods, Damon took his time shutting off the engine. He had something to say.

She was sitting there eyeing him warily. It was a shame the sudden resurge of amiability between them was going to be so short-lived.

"The thing is I still don't trust you as far as I could throw you right now," he began, then stopped. "Actually that's a terrible analogy because I could throw you a really long way. But you get my point, right?"

She nodded slowly. "Nothing's changed," she said.

"Nothing's changed," he confirmed. "I just - I just wish you'd stop and think for even a _second_ -"

She interrupted him. "I don't have time to stop and think, Damon. I'm going to be dead any day now, I don't have time for anything."

He wanted to comfort her - it was his first urge, to tell her everything would be fine, no one would hurt her. Maybe try a hug. But he wasn't that guy, and even if he was, she didn't want it from him.

Instead he said, "Well they'll have to go through me to get to you, so the last thing you'll see will be my gruesome, painful death - that's gotta cheer you up, right?"

"Not really. I don't want anyone to die for me. Not even you. And I'm getting really, _really_ tired of saying it. Listen, thank you for bringing me. I'll take the blood down to him by myself, okay? I just need to see him for a few minutes - I know we won't be alone but..." She shrugged. "It's as close as we'll get."

She grabbed the bag and turned to get out, and his hand closed around her arm.

He waited till she let go of the door handle before releasing her. "Can't let you go in there alone, and you know it."

"I'm not going to cross the barrier, okay? I was upset last time, but I know there's nothing I can do. Can't you trust me even with this?" She rolled her eyes. "We both know you'll be listening from up here, anyway." She turned away again.

He stopped her from going again, this time without touching her. "She'll hurt him." Elena froze. "Elena, come on. Think. You'd make the best collateral she could get her hands on. You go down there by yourself, she'll rip Stefan's heart out, and when you run screaming to his side, which she knows you will, because that's what you _do_, she'll have you."

Quietly, she said something even all her crazy danger-seeking behaviour to this point had not prepared him to hear. "So maybe I should go in there."

"What." The word was so flat it wasn't even a question.

"Even Katherine knows you'd do anything to get the barrier down if it was me in there with her, but not your own brother?"

He didn't respond. Not with words. Within seconds he had the car back in gear and was pulling back out onto the road in a shower of dirt and gravel.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"You think you're going anywhere _near_ that tomb now?"

"You can't - what about Stefan's blood, he -"

"Can wait a while longer. Jesus, Elena."

"I was just - I wasn't going to - ugh!" She threw up her hands. "Just take me home, I don't even know why I -"

"Just keeeep talking. I can hardly hear you over the sound of how pissed I am right now and for your sake it's probably just as well."

Damon frog-marched her from the car right up to her door, and handed her over to the younger Gilbert with strict instructions not to let his completely insane sister out of his sight for the foreseeable future.

Then Damon went home and started drinking.

**...**

It should have come as a shock to precisely no one that Elena tried to sneak out that night. What might have been slightly more of a surprise, given the level of scrutiny she was under these days, was that she succeeded.

Ric was downstairs with Jenna, but he wasn't about to come check on her in her room, that was Jeremy's job. And the moment her brother went into the bathroom and she heard the shower start, she opened her window, climbed out, and - in a move Damon would have really appreciated - almost killed herself lowering herself off the porch roof. But she did it. And then she was running. She didn't need that much time, really. The old church ruins weren't that far.

If only she hadn't blurted out what she said to Damon in the car. She'd just wanted to point out his own hypocrisy - she had absolutely no intention of actually doing it, going in the tomb, even if it meant getting Stefan out soon. She wanted to - she really wanted to, but she just couldn't do it.

Klaus couldn't get to Stefan in the tomb. But he could get to everyone outside it, and she still had every intention of offering herself in exchange for their lives - whether she could find a way to make it happen, or he came to her himself first.

Right now, she just had to see Stefan.

She needed to see his face, and hear him say reassuring things, tell her it was okay. She always felt calm, and good, and _right,_ when she was with Stefan.

She stopped to catch her breath when she finally reached the top of the stone steps - the twenty minute jog from her house shouldn't have felt so long. She was kind of out of shape apparently, the cheerleader in her was disappointed.

Feeling a little trepidation, she smoothed her hair back before heading down to the tomb.

He must have heard her approaching. She smiled when she saw him standing there, in the low, wavering light coming from further back along the tunnel behind him. Her smile faltered as she drew nearer. His arms folded over his chest, his face was closed off, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.

"What are you doing here?" His eyes moved beyond her, as if looking for someone else. "Where's Damon?"

"Stefan, I had to see you."

"You can't be here."

"Stefan -"

"No, Elena. I'm sorry -" For a moment his guard fell and she saw how much he was hurting. Tears came to her eyes. "Please go back, please? It makes it harder to see you, knowing you aren't safe and there's nothing I can do - do you understand?"

"Of course I understand!" she cried. "That's all I feel any more, that there's nothing I can do. How can you expect me to stay away from you, too?"

"Because you'll be doing it for me. Go home, Elena. Listen to Damon - you know he'll do what he has to to keep you safe. _That's_ how you can help me."

"I'm sorry."

"I know." He smiled for her.

She swallowed hard. She'd had enough of lies, she couldn't bring herself to lie to him, too. "I'm sorry I can't do that."

His face fell and he moved forward instinctively, only to come up against the barrier. He stepped back, a chagrined look on his face that she knew hid so much more. "Then we have nothing more to say to each other." He said this and was gone the next moment.

She started forward, eyes straining after him into the depths of the tomb. "Stefan!"

Suddenly another figure swung out from around a corner. "I think Stefan needs some alone time."

She blinked tears from stinging eyes. She wouldn't cry in front of Katherine. "Damon said..."

"Damon said? Did he say when he was dropping by again? Tell him I'm hungry and would kill for a change of clothes."

She took a steadying breath. "Would you hurt him?"

"Who, Damon? I think I probably already have, poor thing. Sensitive, you know."

Elena shook her head, and glanced past Katherine, indicating who she was talking about. "You say you - care. About him. But you'd do anything, wouldn't you, to protect yourself?"

"I think we know I'm not the self-sacrificing type."

"It's okay. You won't have to."

Katherine just smiled, and ran her hand almost lovingly down the invisible wall separating them.

Elena turned away.

She climbed the steps, hunched over on herself with her arms wrapped around her waist. Nothing about this had made her feel better.

She started the walk back through the trees. The moon was up, almost full, so there was enough light to see by. And she knew the way so well even at night there was no trouble finding her way. When she reached the road she took her phone from her pocket - the only thing she'd brought with her on her great escape, because she might be reckless and suicidal but she wasn't stupid - and texted Jeremy to let him know she was okay. She didn't want him to worry. Or send out a search party.

Then she started to walk again. But she wasn't going home.

There was only one place for her to go now.

**...**

It was around midnight that night when Damon, who after several hours of deftly applied alcohol therapy had a pretty good buzz going, got a phone call from Caroline.

"What?" he answered lazily.

The first words out of her mouth were, "What did you do to Elena?"

"What?" He sat up straighter, shaking a little to clear his head.

"This time, I mean," she clarified.

"Caroline, what's wrong with Elena?" he demanded, then paused to add, "This time, I mean. Where are you?"

"She's okay, sort of. Technically, I can say that she's physically safe. But she's also, basically, drunk off her ass, and rambling about how much she hates you. So I guess I did the math on you doing something to make her, well, hate you. Again. Some more."

He allowed himself to relax just a bit. There was no nervous fear in Caroline's voice to suggest she was lying to him. So Elena was drunk. It was the perfect night for it, as far as he was concerned.

"Far be it for me to deny anyone the pleasure of finding the cure to all life's problems at the bottom of a bottle. The question is," he added as he got up from the couch and wandered back over to swap his empty bottle for a fresh one, "Why are you whining to me about it?"

"If it helps, I think she's mostly projecting. You're an easy target, but mostly I think she's upset about, you know the whole 'ancient vampire curse, Stefan's stuck in a hole in the ground' thing."

"Yeah, it's possible. I have been royally pissing her off lately, though. Although the feeling is _definitely_ mutual."

"Well you're talented that way. But seriously, got any clue how to talk her down? It's been fun, but it's a school night and it's late and my mom is calling me telling me to come home only I _can't_ because of Elena's emotional crisis. Which I perfectly understand, don't get me wrong, I'm not insensitive, but apparently tonight my mom has decided I have a curfew."

"Are you at Elena's? Just pour her into bed, or let Jeremy take over babysitting, what's the problem?"

"No, we're... out. Do you think it's okay to take her home? What if she blurts something out to Jenna, I mean, she's pretty wasted. I guess if I get her up to her room right away - she'll probably pass out pretty quick. She better, my mom is calling like every five minutes. Well, she called twice, that's pretty serious for her. I better not get grounded over this."

"Way to handle things, Caroline." He groaned, looking to the ceiling, knowing what came next and kind of hating himself a little bit. "Look, just... tell me where you are, I'll come get her."

"Not a good idea, she hates you, remember?"

"She'll deal. You, meanwhile, need to go home and stop making your mother worry."

"Gee _Dad_, thanks for the tip."

"Caroline..."

"Okay, god. We're in the park, the one by the falls - drinking alone in the dark like a couple of vagrants. Or like, homeless people. Wait, is that what 'vagrant' means? Whatever, if anyone sees us I'll be mortified, so could you hurry, please?"

Of course, he was already on his way.

**...**

They were off amongst a small stand of trees, which sheltered a wooden picnic table. Caroline was seated on one of the benches. Elena was on top of the table, sprawled on her back. A very large bottle of vodka was tucked protectively to her side.

Vodka, of course. Such girls.

"Ladies. Having fun, are we?" he called as he approached.

"Don't look at me like that," Caroline jumped to her feet and trotted over to him, whining like it was her job to be annoying. "She called me from the liquor store, and she's my best friend, okay? If she wants me to compel a guy to sell her some stupid alcohol, I'm going to do it. And I'm going to let her drag me out here in the middle of the night to be hobos in the park."

"Well the sisterhood of the travelling _on thin ice_ is officially disbanded."

"Since when are you such a killjoy, Damon?" Elena taunted. She was now standing on the table. "_You_ used to be more fun."

He looked up at her, then back at Caroline. "Bye, Caroline."

"Right. Bye Caroline," she confirmed quietly, before making the wise choice to flee while she still could.

He stood contemplating the best way to get Elena's drunk ass home with the minimum amount of headache involved while behind him Caroline's car pulled out of the lot.

He was nothing if not a fan of the direct approach.

He walked over to the table and grabbed her around the knees. Surprise and uncoordination sent her lurching forward off the table with a high-pitched yelp, landing hard over his shoulder.

"Whoa," she said, as he strode back to his car toting her limp form.

She didn't seem to quite realise yet what had just happened. And she was still somehow hanging on to the over-sized bottle - he could feel it bouncing off his ass with every step.

Her brain caught up to her situation as they neared the car, prompting a belated reaction.

"I'm so going to hurl on you, Damon, and you are so going to deserve it," she said very seriously.

He set her back on her feet. She swayed predictably, reaching out an unsteady hand to anchor herself on the side of the car.

He watched her suspiciously. "There's no hurling in my camaro. You can walk home."

She waved a hand dismissively, her every movement exaggerated and comical. "I'm not - I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna barf. It was an empty threat, because I was upside down. And because you suck."

He was torn between being annoyed and being amused. That he could find her charming while drunk and obnoxious really betrayed something deep-seated and pathetic in his nature, he decided.

He settled for opening the car door and pointing. "Get in."

She went easily enough, flopping down into the seat still clutching the half-empty bottle. He shut the door firmly and rounded the car.

"Time to go home," he announced as he joined her from the other side, sliding into the driver's seat and fitting the keys in the ignition.

"I went to see Stefan," she blurted out.

His first reaction was anger. Anger, mixed with fear, and the urge to swear. But it was gone as fast as it arrived, and all that was left was to lean his head back and laugh. "Of course you did."

"And now I'm drinking."

"Of course you are. Is it helping?"

Wordlessly, she passed him the bottle.

"How did everything get so screwed up?" she said as he raised the bottle to his lips.

Lukewarm vodka. He grimaced as he swallowed. _Kids today_.

He took another, longer drink and finally answered, "That's easy. Katherine happened."

"But -"

"No no," he held up a finger, "Don't think, just blame Katherine. Makes everything so simple."

She frowned, then brightened. "None of that pesky responsibility for us, it was all Katherine's fault."

"Always was, always will be. Global warming? Katherine did it."

She snorted absurdly, making him smile. "War on Terror?" she giggled.

"Katherine again," he confirmed.

"She gets around."

"Not so much any more, though."

She reached over for the bottle but he swivelled, turning his back to her and keeping it out of reach as he drank deeply.

"Can I -? Hey, that's mine. Damon!"

He laughed as he evaded her hands. "Get your own."

"That is my own!"

She almost overbalanced into his lap lunging for the bottle, and it was then that she withdrew back into her seat, some apparent need to preserve a little dignity restraining her.

Game over, he offered her the bottle.

She just sighed, looking at her hands in her lap. "Okay," she breathed, "Let's talk."

**...**

"And what are we talking about?" he said after a moment.

The engine not running, no lights on anywhere, nobody around. Sitting here in the quiet dark with him in the middle of the night, she was tipsy and relaxed. It made her brave enough to do this.

"So you care about me," she said. "Don't bother - that thing you do where it's all sarcasm and eyebrows. We both know the truth. Just shut up."

"Conversations sometimes involve two people, I think."

"Shut up. I'm still trashed and this is hard, Damon. I hate what you've been doing, it's not what I want, but I know - I know. So you don't have to pretend like it's... nothing."

He waited for more of her rambling speech, but she was silent for a long time while she gathered herself together, focused on what she was trying to do.

"I do care," he admitted slowly, "About a lot of things in this extremely high-maintenance little town of ours. And that's not something I ever thought was even possible."

"That's - good."

"And then there's you."

"Damon -"

"I'm not saying - I'm just saying you're right. There's you. So. You shut up. Did I mention I'm kind of drunk, too?"

She smiled shakily. Her hands, she thought, might tremble, so she kept them held tightly in fists in her lap. She drew in a deep breath. "The thing is... I still wonder, you know, about that night. In my room."

For a second there was a look on his face she wasn't expecting - surprise? He looked strangely vulnerable in that moment. She didn't understand where that was coming from, but it disappeared quickly enough as she pressed on.

"When you killed Jeremy - I still don't know how you could do that to me. Half my family is already gone, and you tried to take him away, too."

His expression hurt to look at. But she was getting to him. She'd been getting to him for days. For months. It was always going to be this easy.

"Before I saw the ring... I haven't felt that way since the day I woke up in the hospital and they told me my mom and dad were dead. I never thought anything could feel like that again - and you put me right back there, holding my little brother's body in my arms. I've seen you fight to protect Stefan, Damon, I know you know what that's like, when they're in danger, how protective you feel. But that night there was nothing I could do."

"Elena -"

"You owe me, Damon. If anyone on this earth owes me, it's you. You tried to take him away from me and now you are going to help me save him."

His eyes were closed, and for a moment she hoped, but then - "No, I'm not."

"Yes you are. _Please._ Damon, if you do, I'll forgive you. Really forgive you." As she stared at him, pleading, he slumped back in his seat and regarded her tiredly.

"You'll be dead. Forgiveness from a dead chick doesn't sound so appealing. Get back on your good side just long enough to watch you get yourself killed? Awesome, Elena. Don't you get I'd rather have you alive and hating my guts forever? Let's face it, it's basically what I deserve." He shrugged. "Go ahead, hate me all you want, it just makes my job easier."

She was out of the car, slamming the door after her a second later.

It was her last chance. A last ditch effort. Her last resort: getting him on her side. And it failed. She'd been as big a manipulative bitch as she knew how to be, and it got her nowhere.

And now he thought she hated him. And maybe she really did. How could she do something like that, otherwise? How could she be this person?

"Elena!" he called behind her. "Don't be a drama queen, come back here."

She didn't answer, and then she felt him a pace behind her. "I'll walk. It's not that far."

"Then I'll walk too. It's even less far for me."

"Shut. Up."

"Hey, it was a noble attempt. You almost had me. But you were working from the premise of me having a conscience. And we both know I'm a soulless jerk. You really want to change my tune, there's always seduction. It's a perfectly respectable option."

She shook off his hand as it landed on her shoulder. "I'm not that desperate."

"You clearly are, but you also know that won't work either. Oh, it'd _work_ fine, the seduction part. Feel free to seduce me any time you like. But it won't get you what you want. Hey, are you...? You're crying."

"I'm drunk. Haven't you ever seen a crying drunk girl before? It happens."

"I know. They make an easy meal - basically fast food for vampires. Hey, look. You're just - you miss Stefan. And you're... scared? I don't know. It's understandable to be upset and... soggy... at a time like this."

She rounded on him, furiously swiping the tears from her face. "I'm not _upset_, Damon. I don't _miss my boyfriend_. God, yes I do, but that's not even the point. I'm _angry_ Damon. There is nothing I can do about anything that is happening to me. Nothing. Everyone I love is going to die and I'm just helpless and I _hate_ it."

She sobbed into her hand and he, apparently, had reached some self-defined limit of what he could try to do with words. He put his arms around her, pulling her close. It was a terrible hug, he was tense, unsure, just waiting for her to push him away.

She didn't. She was still for a few seconds, assessing, and then eventually she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. God, she was so tired.

"Now would be a good time to tell me everything is going to be okay," she said in a voice that came out surprisingly steady.

"Want me to lie? I'll lie. I will cross that moral boundary for you, Elena."

He was babbling. His hugging had improved, but he was still not helping. Why wouldn't he just _help_ her?

"Why not?" she said into the comforting leather of his jacket. "I lied. Before. It doesn't matter what you do, I'm never going to forgive you. I'll never forgive you."

But just saying the words brought home very clearly that this was the real lie.

She'd wanted to hurt him, and she wondered if she'd succeeded. He hadn't moved, he was warm and solid against her and around her. If she'd hurt him, he was strong enough to take it, she decided.

And anyway she didn't know how to take it back. The lies kept piling up, it was too confusing and complicated for her alcohol-soaked brain to parse out.

So she just mumbled, "Sorry. I don't - I didn't -"

"I never asked you to forgive me. Just - shut up, Elena. It's fine."

She was pretty sure there had been a time when they'd never lied to each other.

Now it was all they seemed to do. It broke her heart a little, that she couldn't fix what was wrong here. But it would take more than she had to give right now.

"Come on, Girl Gone Wild." He unwrapped his arms from around her, turning her back in the direction of the car. "I'll take you home."

**...**

He sat where he could see the tomb entrance. Not so close as to seem pathetic. Not so far as to remove it from plain view.

He found a pebble within reach and tossed it, watching its arcing trajectory, its momentum carrying it to freedom beyond the invisible barrier, bouncing to a stop a few yards across the floor.

He'd spent over three days now avoiding Katherine as best he could in such a small space while simultaneously becoming attuned to her every movement, her every wandering step and bored sigh. His attempts were futile of course; there was nowhere to go to escape her. And at times like this, it was honestly easier not to. It was easier than feeling guilty for turning away from Elena when she had come hours earlier.

He knew she was there before she spoke.

"Hungry? I know I am. Looks like he's forgotten us already. Didn't take long. But we'll wither and dry up together, at least. There's something poetic about it, isn't there? I might just compose a sonnet."

He told himself not to engage. It never ended well. It was what she wanted and he would consider the rest of his life well-spent if he could just refrain from ever giving Katherine what she wanted ever again.

But he said, "An Ode to Gathering Dust?" with a wry smile. And it was difficult to chastise himself too much. He'd been here for three days and he was pretty damn bored, too. He'd already read _Eat, Pray, Love_.

"Not like anyone's going to come in and throw an old sheet over us. That would be the civilised thing to do."

"You could have had some of the blood Damon brought."

He'd finished it slowly over the course of the evening after his brother's visit. No point saving any for later - blood spoiled, even though it was fairly cool here, underground, in the dark.

"I'll need to be desperate," Katherine said simply.

"Explain it to me," she said next, after the silence stretched out between them. "The animal blood." She sat down across from him, a few feet down the passageway, stretching out her legs and crossing her feet. She played idly in the dust under her fingers before looking up to meet his eyes. "You may as well, there's nothing else to do. And I'd like to at least try to understand. Although I don't think I will, honestly. I don't think I'm even capable..."

She sounded sincere. He reminded himself not to believe it. And yet he found he wanted to tell her anyway. Because honest or not, what harm was there in hoping, even if just for a little while, that she was wrong? That she was capable of more?

He opened his mouth and began to speak.

**…**

It was late and she was almost asleep, but when she heard the quiet beep signalling a new text message Bonnie rolled over and reached for her phone where it lay next to her pillow.

It was from Damon.

_**Tomorrow**_, it read. _**Bring your witches hat. We need to talk about Elena.**_

**...**

**

* * *

**

_End notes: The next chapter will cover most of the events in 'By the Light of the Moon', only hopefully not so pointlessly. This story will, I promise, get to a shippy D/E place (rather than the kind of angry, hatey, why-won't-you-do-things-my-way-god place they are currently) but it'll be another chapter or two yet. I'm trying to like, build up to it and junk. Thank you for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

Notes: This update was supposed to be posted earlier in the week, but natural disasters trump fanfic. (I'm in Queensland, so... yeah.) Here we go, then, another ridonk long chapter (eleven thousand words holyshitballs). I really want to finish this story before the new eps start up again, but with everything as it is, it may not happen. (Also if my chapters keep getting successively longer, chapter six will be approximately the length of War and Peace and you'll still be reading it when season three starts justsoyouknow.)

* * *

_**Conversations in Cars**_

_**part three**_

_**...**_

Stefan came awake with a gasp, which transitioned into a huff of frustration. He rubbed his face roughly to dispel the last traces of sleep, but the disjointed images lingered in his mind.

He had been dreaming of Elena. She was laughing in his arms as they rode on a roller coaster to get to school - which made about as much sense as dreams usually did. But it had been a good dream.

Except that at some point in the dream she had stopped being Elena, and he knew that, but he didn't _know_ it - she had clung to him, laughing, and he'd buried his face in her hair, which was a mass of curls which seemed perfect normal to him. They made out all the way to the top of the big hill, and then she took his face in her hands and compelled him to jump from the wildly careening car with her. The fall startled him awake.

It had been a good dream that turned into a nightmare, basically.

"Damn it Katherine, stay out of my head," he growled from between his hands.

"What?" came a sleepy, annoyed voice from the other side of the cave-like room. "What's your problem _now_ Stefan?"

He scoffed, throwing himself back down on his uncomfortable makeshift bed - a bare ledge in the stone. As if he believed her act for a second.

"You really think such cheap tricks will work? Don't count on them for much longer. You're growing weaker every day we're in here."

And soon his head would no longer be her personal playground.

There was movement in the corner of his eye as Katherine sat up. "I was asleep, thanks to our friend Mr Joyce here. I don't know what you're talking about." She was on her feet then, tossing the thick paperback aside in favour of stalking towards him. "Apparently I missed something good. What could it have been?"

"Nothing," he said shortly, starting to doubt in spite of himself.

"What could you have possibly dreamed about, I wonder?"

Things that weren't real and never would be.

"I'm so bored, Stefan, the least you could do is entertain me."

"Actually the least I could do is nothing."

"How about a compromise? I won't mention what just happened again, if you... play with me."

The refusal died on his lips as he realised she meant the cards still spread on the floor from her last game of Solitaire.

He was bored, very bored, but that wasn't why he said, dryly, "Go Fish?"

"Gin Rummy," she countered with a triumphant smile, and lowered herself cross-legged on the floor where she gathered up the cards to shuffle.

Wearily, he joined her. Days locked in a tomb with nothing to do - and it seemed like he would never get any sleep.

"Do you remember the last time we played cards?" she said as she dealt.

He nodded slowly. "I remember that."

"I was your father's partner, and you paired with Damon. Damon cheated, of course."

"He tried."

"I remember him making secret gestures at you to share information - which you kept trying to ignore. And all as I was helping your father beat the pants off both of you, while fondling _some_body's thigh under the table with my foot. I don't actually recall whose. Hopefully not Giuseppe's."

"Just play," he said, taking a card from the pile.

He remembered it all; no matter how he wished he didn't, the memories stayed with him. Just as now he wished he didn't remember that it definitely wasn't him she had teased under the table that night.

**...**

"I'm surprised Damon trusted you with it," Elena said, as she picked the moonstone up from where it lay on her bed.

"Not like he can do anything with it, I'm the one breaking the curse," Bonnie replied with a shrug.

"And bringing the bloody retribution of the oldest, most powerful vampire in the world down on all our heads, don't forget that part."

"We don't know that, Elena. We all agree it's the best course of action."

Elena's protest was immediate. "I do _not_ -"

"Yeah, we know, Elena," Jeremy said. He was leaning against the wall near the door, arms folded over his chest. "Your idea of how to handle this is so much better."

Her grip tightened on the moonstone. If they destroyed it, there was no way to lift the curse, and Klaus would come after them, the way he did Katherine's family after she turned herself.

If only the thing had never been found - only Katherine had known where it was, and what it meant. It really did all come back to her evil Petrova ancestor. _Blame Katherine_. She remembered laughing about that with Damon last night. Because last night, it had seemed funny.

"What's funny?" Jeremy asked, confusing her for a moment before she realised she was smiling slightly.

"I was just - thinking about Katherine."

She watched Jeremy and Bonnie exchange the mother of all looks.

"That's..." Bonnie began.

"Disturbing," Jeremy finished.

"You guys already think I'm being crazy. Disturbed works too, I guess."

"Now I just think you're grouchy," Bonnie said, taking the moonstone back and replacing it in her bag.

"And hung-over, don't forget that," Jeremy said.

"Yeah, how drunk was she when she came home last night? Caroline called me, but I almost didn't believe it."

"She was pretty drunk. Damon had to practically carry her from the car, and I had to almost carry her up the stairs. At one point she said she could walk just fine, and she took one step and _fell_ up the stairs."

Elena frowned, not knowing whether to believe him or if he was merely exaggerating. "I did?"

"Yeah, you cracked your shin pretty bad, but you weren't exactly feeling any pain."

She put her hand to her leg, guided by a slowly emerging memory of how last night had ended - the very tender bruise she could feel through her jeans leg helped bring the moment of extreme clumsiness back.

"Hey, you just need some coffee," Bonnie offered. "Me too."

"Yeah, me three," Jeremy joined in.

"I'll be down in a minute, guys. I... just have to make a phone call."

They exchanged another look then left her to go down to the kitchen. She paused a moment, looking down at Bonnie's bag, wondering if that had been left behind as conspicuously as it appeared. She was tempted to take it. She could take it and run - maybe she could make it out to the car before anyone noticed. It didn't feel right - Jeremy and Bonnie were too wary of her, and they were right downstairs. She was running out of time, and that just meant she had to be smart and get it right.

And she really did need to make a call.

Falling on her face had only just come back to her, but most of the rest of the previous night was all too clear.

Like the look on Stefan's as he told her to leave, because it was so difficult to see her, when the only thing she had wanted in that moment was to see him. Stefan had never been able to stay away from her - even when he had thought it was better for her, the right thing to do. How could he expect anything different from her?

With a shake of her head she forced herself to stop thinking about it, and got her phone off the dresser. She was of course not calling Stefan - and not only because there was no reception in an underground cave.

It was someone else she had to talk to. Of all the things that stood out after drinking so much last night, there was the knowledge that Damon had been kind to her when she absolutely did not deserve it. She couldn't forget it if she tried.

She let out a breath of relief when the call went to voicemail. She couldn't have done this face to face, and leaving a message would be easier again than talking to him directly.

"It's me," she began. "I just wanted to say - about last night, what I did..." She couldn't even say it - the way she'd used her parent's death, and Jeremy's life, like they were bargaining chips to get what she wanted from him. She'd been drunk and it had seemed almost worth it, but today - no, she would do what she had to do, but she wasn't going to be that person. "What I said, you didn't deserve. I don't hate you. You're just like everyone else - you think you're doing what's right for me, because you care." It really was easier to talk to him like this when she didn't have to see or hear his reaction. The words came out almost by themselves. "I don't know when I started thinking it wasn't just some self-serving act, but somehow I know it's not. And that's a good thing, Damon, a really good thing."

She cut herself off abruptly, awkwardly, knowing there wasn't anything that could salvage the uncomfortably earnest tone of her message. But after last night she'd probably earned a little embarrassment.

She'd never been an ends-justify-the-means kind of girl. She still wasn't. She would secure her own ends her own way, only this time without hurting anyone else.

She grabbed Bonnie's bag from the bed and got to her feet.

**...**

Bonnie set down her mug beside the sink, catching Jeremy's eye as they heard footsteps on the stairs. She really didn't want to have to do this to Elena, but if Damon was right, then it had to be done.

"Hey," Elena said, rounding the foot of the stairs as Bonnie and Jeremy came from the kitchen, "I don't think I have time for that coffee, we're going to be late. Here, Bonnie, you left this upstairs."

Bonnie tried not to show surprise as she took back her bag, nor that she surreptitiously checked that the moonstone was still inside - which it was. She looked over at Jeremy - not what he'd been expecting, either.

Elena has already turned away to grab her keys off the side table. "We better go, I'll drive."

**...**

"So then she gets all pissed at me, again I might add, because I _still_ don't want to help her kill herself, even though she's all drunk and sad and overflowing with annoyingly effective guilt trips. Let me tell you, the last time Elena got hammered - which was right after another time you stomped her little heart Stefan, nice symmetry - that time there was a lot more dancing happy times and a lot less of this weepy recrimination I had to deal with last night. How times have changed."

"Damon," Stefan said.

"Hm?"

"Why are you telling me this?"

Damon shifted, making himself more comfortable on the big blue inflatable couch he was currently stretched out on a few feet from the entrance of the tomb. "Uh, if I have to deal with all this the least you can do is pretend not to be bored by it."

"For the record, I did not stomp Elena's heart, I just -"

"You sent her away," Katherine filled in. She was seated on the ground, leaning back against the cave wall, as she idly flipped through a copy of _Hump_ magazine. "And not very nicely, Stefan - what did you think would happen?"

"Why was she here in the first place, Damon?" Stefan said.

"'Cause she's Elena. And I told her not to come. Ergo, she did."

"She's such a handful, that Elena."

"Shut up, Katherine." Stefan said it before Damon could.

"What? All this drama, should I not be entertained? It's not like I get the soap channel down here. You should have seen it, Damon, it was quite a scene. Poor Elena, I almost felt bad for her when Stefan stomped all over her heart like that."

Stefan stopped pacing back and forth and frowned down at her, hands on his hips. "Could you _not_ be here, please?"

Without looking up from the centrefold she was examining, Katherine stretched out an arm and hit the invisible barrier a few times with her fist. "No, actually, I could not _not_ be here."

"Just drink your blood, Stefan." Damon kept his tone mild, trying not to show any outward sign of concern. But his stoic little brother didn't seem to be handling captivity as well as he had earlier in the week - or rather, he didn't seem to be handling captivity with _Katherine_ as well as he had.

She was getting to him. That might be a problem.

"Just tell me you're actually doing a better job watching out for her than last night would suggest," Stefan said.

"It's all under control."

"I would really like to believe that was true."

"It's taken care of. Elena's not going to be going on any more unsupervised excursions, trust me."

It must have been something in his tone, because Stefan was instantly wary. "What'd you do? Damon?"

"I... did what you suggested. We sat down, the two of us, and we had a calm, rational discussion, over tea, and -"

"Did you lock her in the basement?"

"I didn't lock her in the basement, what kind of monster do you take me for?"

"Damon."

"I'm not saying the idea didn't cross my mind a time or two."

"My money's on compulsion," Katherine volunteered. "What else did you make her do, Damon, besides stay where you can keep a very, _very_ close eye on her?"

"He didn't compel her. You didn't, right?"

"Actually you two were the ones who gave me the idea. Don't give me that look, Stefan, I just got our little resident witch to seal her inside her house, that's all."

Katherine chuckled. "I'd think that was delicious symmetry, but mostly I'm just jealous she has access to running water."

Stefan just pinched the bridge of his nose, looking pained.

"Hey, it's better than the basement, right?" Damon bounced to his feet. He prodded the plastic couch with his foot. "You guys want this in there with you, or should I leave it out here for visitors?"

"Goodbye, Damon," Stefan said.

Katherine, however, sighed and set the magazine aside. "Give me the damn thing." He shrugged and tossed it towards her; it wedged in the doorway. He'd let her deal with that. "Next time, be a good boy and bring me some new clothes," she added as she yanked the unwieldy thing inside.

"Oh hey, listen, if I were you, I would definitely keep my hopes up about that."

She narrowed her eyes at him, before turning away with a shrug. "Well, while I'm waiting for Damon to stop taking his bitterness over his sad, lonely existence out on me, I think I'll take a nap. Care to join me?" She was speaking to Stefan, of course, and kept her eyes on him even when she switched to address Damon again. "He's looking a little tired, don't you think, Damon? For some reason, I don't think he's sleeping very well."

He watched the tension across his brother's shoulders tighten until Katherine had departed, dragging the ridiculous inflatable couch with her.

"She always was good at the head games," he said casually.

Stefan didn't respond to that, and clearly wasn't talking about Katherine at all when finally he said, "How is she, really?"

Unhappy. Infuriating. Cultivating the mother of all death wishes. And apparently letting him hug her now when she was drunk and upset.

These were the things that jumped into his head, but none of them were things he was going to say to Stefan.

He shrugged. "You know Elena, she's a fighter."

**...**

The first thing he did when he came up out the dead reception zone that was the tomb, was check his phone.

Two voicemails waiting for him. He listened to Elena's message and then stood there staring at nothing for a while because he didn't even know what to think about that.

It was... good. Nice. Maybe it stirred something inside his chest that wasn't supposed to be there any more, but that was proving disturbingly persistent.

But it also made absolutely no sense to him, and that was a problem.

Then there was Bonnie's message.

_"It's Bonnie. Are you sure this was necessary? She didn't take the bait - she was alone with the moonstone for twenty minutes and nothing happened. She just wants to go to school, so, we're on our way now. The spell is good to go if we need it but I'm still not sure we do - there's only a day left, we can watch her till then without her hating me forever for listening to you about this."_

Bonnie's message just made him roll his eyes. The witch might be Elena's best friend but she was in denial or something if she didn't know exactly how this day was going to go down.

He had wanted to just lock her in the house and be done with it, but Bonnie insisted on seeing for herself how desperate Elena was getting, and hence testing her by waving the moonstone under her nose.

He needed no further proof. The witch hadn't been around to witness any of Elena's increasingly insane behaviour all week - he had.

And now Elena was at school. Maybe. Until she ran off and tried to get herself killed again, anyway.

Which basically meant he was going to go plant his ass down and watch the high school all day because Elena staying where she was supposed to for five minutes was basically impossible.

Shaking his head, he returned his phone to his pocket and continued on his way through the woods.

An hour later his phone rang. He checked it absently, seeing it was Bonnie again before bringing it to his ear.

"You were right," she blurted as soon as he answered. "She took it. It's not in my locker - Elena knows the combination."

"Imagine that."

"Damon, she's _gone_!"

"Oh no! Good thing I've already got little Miss Sticky Fingers on my radar."

"Oh. You know you could've just said."

He had, in fact, just watched Elena exit the main building a minute ago, before making her way with a purpose towards the parking lot. Leaning against his car which was parked a block away, he watched her get in her car, in no particular hurry to stop her.

He smirked, returning to his conversation. "So, all set, Honey B?"

"The spell? Done. And oh my god, don't call me that."

"Too bootylicious for you? Whatever. And the other thing?"

"We'll be ready."

"You know the full moon is tomorrow night, right?"

"You know Elena is probably on her way out of town right now, right?"

"You do your thing, I'll do mine."

"Good plan."

They hung up as one.

He stepped away from his car. By this point Elena had discovered that her car wouldn't start.

She exited the vehicle, expression annoyed but determined as she set off on foot.

Two steps later he was there.

She jumped back, startled to find her way suddenly blocked by him. She opened her mouth, no doubt to berate him, but then she stopped as the realisation sank in.

"Going somewhere?" he said.

"I left my homework at home. I have a free period so I'm going to go get it, it's due today."

That she could rattle off such a bald-faced lie while so obviously screwed was impressive.

"On foot?" he wondered.

"I have a flat battery."

"Probably because I disconnected it."

Her jaw hardened but she just said, "Guess I'm walking then."

She turned around and came up against his chest again. This time he followed as she retreated, till she was backed up against the car.

"Get away from me," she bit out, struggling against him, trying to push him away. She should be used to that not working by now, but as so often happened with Elena, she just couldn't help herself. And it was annoying how _stubborn_ this girl was but at the same time he loved it. He loved that she was fighting him, even now.

And he especially didn't mind at all the way her body arched and writhed as she tried to get away.

"Why Elena, is that a moonstone in your pocket?" She froze as his fingers worked their way into the pocket at her hip. He went slow, enjoying the way he could affect her. "I knew you weren't happy to see me." She stared past his shoulder, her mouth set angrily at his intrusive touch. But the almost inaudible gasp, that was something else.

"See we knew this would happen," he said conversationally as his hand closed around the moonstone in the tight constraints between denim and her thigh. "We were ready for it, sorry. And then there was that little message you left me." Her eyes met his briefly before darting away. He finally withdrew the stone from her pocket, but did not step back.

He'd had time to think about that message. "There's no way you would have done that if you weren't making a break for it." There was a good chance she was never going to see him again, and she took the time to say that before she left. That meant something, whether she would have admitted it or not. And it was why he was trying not to be too big a jerk about this. He wasn't sure how well he was succeeding, but the thought was there. "Thank you. Apology accepted."

"I'm just going to keep trying."

"Full moon's tomorrow night, your window for causing me endless grief is almost closed."

Now she was staring up at him, her hands on his arms. "If I'm so much trouble just let me go."

She was dangerous like this. When she looked at him like that he wanted to give her the world just to get her to stop doing it. Or keep doing it. He never knew which.

He moved. An arm draped heavily over her shoulders, he walked her out to the street and turned towards where he'd parked. "You know, as annoying and inconvenient it is for me, it's not like I don't get it. All that dogged tenacity, Elena - it kind of reminds me of, well, the most awesome person I know. That's me, in case you were wondering."

"School is that way." She tried to turn around.

"Who says I'm taking you back to school? Come on, let's get out of here, I bet you were too busy planning your latest suicide attempt to eat breakfast."

"You're not going to let me go back to school?"

"That place has too many exits. So, breakfast. Technically brunch, now, I suppose. It has been a long morning, hasn't it?"

"I'm not hungry, Damon."

"Well I am. Just be thankful I'm in the mood for extra crispy bacon, and not something... a little closer to home." She rolled her eyes and resisted some more as he opened the passenger door for her, folding her arms over her chest and looking stubborn. "Look, I want to talk to you about something."

"Do you, or do you just need an excuse not to let me out of your sight?"

"Not going to let you out of my sight either way. Get in."

She got in, staring resignedly out the window as they made their way out of town. "Where are we going?" she asked finally.

"To get the best greasy diner food for miles."

"Where's that?"

"Little place out by the highway. There _are_ other places to go around here besides the Grill. Especially since the food at the Grill kind of sucks. Extra soggy, limp, disappointing bacon, every time. Speaking of the other white meat - I heard you went there with Stefan. Another red letter day for the diary, huh? Quite a milestone."

Finally this prompted a sign of interest from her. "Went where with Stefan?"

He hadn't even meant to bring it up, but driving out this way put him in mind of his recent road trip with Stefan. Plus all this talk of food, while Elena was sitting right next to him. What else was he going to think about?

"I'm just saying - glad we're all finally on the same page with the people blood thing."

She shifted uncomfortably, sitting up straighter in her seat.

"And," he continued, "It's about time you got to know firsthand some of the perks of associating with us undead folk, instead of all the scary curses and people trying to kill you and stuff. I think it's... just great."

"I'm - we're - not that it's any of your business -"

"Not that that's ever stopped me before," he interrupted with a grin.

"But I'm letting him... I _was_ letting him - just to make him stronger, and help him control it."

"Well _yeah_, but there's also the..." He trailed off as he studied her for a moment. "Oh. _Oh._ Man, Stefan," he groaned, caught between wanting to laugh and hang his head in despair over how completely _lame_ his brother was. "Worst vampire _ever_."

"What are you talking about? He wasn't hurting me, he's always careful," she protested defiantly. "And it was my choice."

_Careful?_ Stefan being careful meant - well it meant the more salacious images he'd been unable to banish from his head since Stefan had confessed to drinking Elena's blood were vastly over-hyped. It meant Stefan was still worried he couldn't control himself. And _that_ meant he could be quietly happy - in an utterly petty, small-minded way - that Elena still had no idea what she was missing when it came to just how awesome sex with a vampire could be. And it could stay that way, as far as he was concerned.

"Nothing, Elena. I'm talking about nothing," he said. "But you deserve better," he couldn't help adding half under his breath, earning him a funny look from Elena.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, but it was a good thing. It brought us closer together." She cut herself off abruptly, probably remembering just how long that closeness _hadn't_ lasted.

Technically, they were still broken up as far as he knew, not that it made one shred of difference where either of them were concerned. He was pretty sure if they didn't have these sporadic moments of angst they wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

And if that was more pettiness he couldn't find it in himself to care.

Except, of course, for the part where he did.

"Listen, once Stefan's out of the tomb, you kids'll patch things up and be living that teenage dream again in no time."

The look from Elena this time was a little too sharp. "And if he never gets out?"

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

She was about to ask but then they had arrived; he pulled off the road and jumped out as soon as he cut the engine, forcing her to follow him inside.

Inside the small diner there were only a few other customers, and they had their choice of seats, settling in a booth at the window. The place was one giant cliche from the old-fashioned rounded counter to the checkered curtains and Elvis piped through a crackly speaker. But he forgave all this if only because the food was decent and it was outside town which decreased the chances of anyone from town spotting Elena and wondering what she was doing out and about on a school day.

The waitress in her predictable uniform approached with coffee and menus which he didn't bother with.

"We're gonna want two of your super breakfast specials."

The waitress gave him a friendly smile. "You want the works, huh?"

"Give us the works."

"And how do you want your eggs, hon?"

"Over easy for me." He glanced at Elena. "Scrambled, right?

She shrugged. "Fine."

The waitress left, and he watched Elena wedge herself into the corner of the booth, as if the cracked vinyl padding was the only thing keeping her upright. She reached for her coffee cup with both hands. "So what is it about Stefan?"

"He really did a number on you last night, huh?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she said immediately. Two seconds later she was contradicting herself as she continued. "He's just doing what everyone's doing."

"Pissing you off?"

"Trying to protect me."

"And therefore... pissing you off."

"I really don't want to talk about it. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Stefan. Getting him out of the tomb. I might have come up with a working solution on that, in a long term, last resort sort of way. You know I've - to vastly understate it - been around. So it should come as no surprise me saying... I know some people."

"People?"

"Bad people."

"So, people like you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Juvenile Delinquent who's skipping school for the second time in a week. I'm a credit to my community, upstanding gentleman of Mystic Falls, a true man of the people."

"Cutting class is just like murdering countless people for fun."

"For food. Guy's gotta eat. Okay, also for fun."

"Tell me about these people."

"If I go hook up with them, I might be able to find us someone strong enough to help Bonnie lower the tomb spell. That someone, I should add - also pretty likely to be bad people."

"So why haven't you?"

"Bad people, Elena. Be honest, is that who you want running around town right now? You tell me."

She frowned into her cup, which she was holding in front of her face like a shield. "Honestly, no, but it's not like things around here could get much worse."

"I'd have to leave for a few days at least, and that's not going to happen with you throwing yourself under every not-at-all-metaphorical bus you can find."

"So when?"

"I honestly don't know."

Something must have showed on his face. She said, "You're worried about him, aren't you?"

He was, but he wasn't. Katherine was a menace but Stefan could handle himself - and even if he couldn't, that would only make Katherine _less_ likely to harm him.

"On a scale of one to Elena? Stefan is gauging about a three. Don't worry, you're still by far the biggest pain in my ass. At least I know where Stefan is all the time."

It was only another minute or two before their food arrived, two large, heaping plates set before each of them.

"Just give me a holler when you want refills," the waitress said before moving off.

Elena had already drained her coffee cup, and was eyeing his. He pushed his cup towards her with the tip of his knife, even as he said, "The rest of us alcoholics need our morning pick-me-up, too, you know. Eat up. This is basically the perfect hangover food.

She shrugged. "I'm not hungover, just tired. Although, passing out when I got home last night, I got more consecutive hours of sleep than I have in a while. Maybe I will become an alcoholic."

"You know what's great for insomnia? Maple syrup."

He took the bottle and squeezed a generous amount over her pancakes. She rolled her eyes, but picked up her fork. Sometimes small victories were all you had.

He ate then, waiting, while she picked at her food and drank his coffee. If she wasn't eating the only thing left for her to do was talk.

"I haven't been sleeping much. I think too much. When I do sleep, I have dreams..."

He wanted to come up with some leering comment about these 'dreams' of hers, something to take that look off her face, even if it was just to glare at him - but the right words eluded him and then she was speaking again anyway.

"I see you all dead. Everyone I love. Every night." Carefully she laid down her fork.

He realised there was nothing he could have said to take that look off her face.

So he said something stupid. "You know what's good for deep-seated trauma?"

"I don't know. Lobotomy?"

"Sex. What? It's always worked for me."

"Really not funny."

"No it isn't, not the way I do it."

She wasn't smiling, but the pain in her eyes was less since she was so busy glaring at him. Small victories. They were adding up.

**...**

"God, I will never get used to this," Katherine said, after chugging an entire bottle of the crime against nature, decency, and good taste, that was Stefan's animal-tainted blood. She was hungry enough by now to drink whatever was on hand, no matter how vile, but that didn't mean she had to like it.

"You do, though," Stefan said.

"Liar."

She watched him hide a smile behind his own bottle of blood, as he drank. "No, you really do."

He lowered the bottle; there was blood on his lip, before he licked it away. There had been a time, long ago before he was turned, when she had imagined what this would be like - the two of them, together, sharing in all the delights of their kind.

Katherine had learned over the years how to deal with disappointment. That didn't mean she had to like it.

She threw her empty bottle down and stalked towards him. Grabbed him when he would have dodged, walked him in a steely grip she knew he couldn't break because even on this ghostly diet she was still stronger, until she had him against the cave wall, his arms pinned, her body flush to his.

"Stop." It was all he said.

"It's like the blood, Stefan." She spoke a scant inch from his lips. "So long avoiding it, the thing you want the most. All it takes is time. A little, then a little more. You'll get used to it all over again."

"By building up a tolerance. So it can't ever affect me again."

"Wrong. Soon you won't remember what anything else tastes like. You won't want anything else. And the poor imitation you used to substitute for the thing you truly desired? You'll forget all about it."

"We'll see."

Her hold on him loosened as she kissed him, her mouth barely brushing his before he was shoving her back. She went with a laugh.

"Yes, we will."

**...**

Elena looked at him, puzzled, as he idled at the curb. "You're just... letting me go?"

"You say that like I abducted you, when I haven't abducted anyone in, like, _days_."

"No, I mean -"

"I know what you mean. It's just your house, Elena, how much trouble could you possibly get up to in there? Go on." He made a shooing motion.

She turned to the door, then stopped. "If you're just going to sit out here and watch the house..."

"Believe it or not, Elena, I have better things to do than babysit you all day."

"Like what?" She seemed to reconsider the words as soon as they left her mouth. "Never mind."

"You really wanna know? My life is an open book -"

"No. Bye."

She got out of the car in a hurry then, and he sat watching as she made her way up to the porch and let herself inside.

He didn't know if he should be insulted that she just accepted he would leave her unsupervised like this. No doubt she was watching from behind the curtains to see if his car left. Well he didn't want to disappoint her, and put the car back in drive and pulled away into the street.

It took about thirty seconds.

He brought his cellphone to his ear as he drove.

"What did you do?"

"Something wrong, Elena?"

"You did this! Wha - ho -" She couldn't even talk, she was so mad.

"Why do you think I had anything to do with it? I'm not the one specialising in magical invisible forceshields these days."

"It was your idea."

"Yes. Yes it was."

"I hate you."

He just laughed. This time, he didn't believe her.

**...**

He actually did have stuff to do this afternoon besides babysit Elena, although it was still on the agenda even if she was a literal prisoner inside her own home.

He had to go home and grab something to eat, because the diner food had been pretty good but it was no substitute for his favourite beverage. Luckily his stash of O-neg would last a while, as an out-of-town blood bank run wasn't in the cards any time soon. He did need to restock his supply of animal blood for Stefan, though, that was errand number two on the list.

He needed to check in with Liz; hopefully a phonecall would do there. She'd left him a few messages over the past couple days about the continuing search for the kid Katherine had killed the night of the Lockwood's masquerade party - he didn't even know if they'd turned up the body yet, that's how preoccupied with Elena and everything related to Elena he'd been lately.

He also kind of really needed to do laundry.

He had a lot on his mind these days but he wasn't about to become a slob because of it.

So he had an afternoon of chores lined up, but what he wasn't expecting when he drove up to the house was the black SUV parked in his driveway.

She was already inside, sitting on his couch. She got to her feet when he came in.

He crossed straight to the booze. "Why are you here?"

"I had to come back, I couldn't just leave it like that. I need to apologise," Rose said.

"So not because you have nowhere else to go?"

"It's true, I don't have anywhere else to go. I got your message, the other day." She took a few careful steps towards him. "I couldn't quite bring myself to answer it."

"Somehow I lived through the disappointment."

"I spent a few days, actually, trying to tell myself I was far better off on my own. Not mixed up in all of this. Then I realised I am already, I always have been. And Trevor died because of it. So I'm here, and I'll help you in any way I can."

"All I've been doing, all week, is keeping Elena alive."

"Then I'll help you do that."

Finally he turned to her. "See, that's the thing - I don't think I need your kind of help."

"I'm sorry I ran, I panicked. I'll try not to do it again."

"Hm." He drank, undecided; he wanted to toss her out on her ass. But he was short on people to call on these days - Stefan out of action, Caroline watching over Tyler Lockwood, Bonnie busy with the little he-witch. There was good old dependable Ric, when he wasn't busy _getting_ busy with Aunt Jenna. But that was it.

And he and Rose had been hitting it off pretty well before she had to go and introduce Elena to a world of danger, only to flake out at the first sign of trouble.

Wordlessly, he filled a second glass.

"How are things with Elena?" Rose said, after taking the offered drink.

He drank again, more deeply, knowing exactly what she was asking.

Elena? Well, she'd been driving him crazy for days, and he'd been driving himself crazy with good intentions.

All things considered, he'd been doing pretty well at the whole moving on thing. He cared, just not _like that_. He could be around her without the urge to smell her hair or make her smile or throw her down and jump her freaking bones being ever present.

And the longer he told himself that was true, he figured, eventually it would have to _be_ true.

He would continue to present a working model of platonic indifference to his brain - and the world - and gradually all these useless, unwieldy emotions would reshape themselves to match. And it would all stop. He would just stop feeling so shitty all the time because Elena didn't love him back and never, ever would.

He didn't have a lot of recent experience with how feelings worked, but he was pretty sure it couldn't be any more complicated than that.

"That good, huh?" Rose said after a long pause.

He said, "My brother got himself stuck in the tomb under the church ruins with Katherine."

"Oh. That's -"

"Inconvenient, I know. Tomorrow night's the full moon, and we're gonna have a brand new werewolf on our hands. Also tomorrow night, our not-so-friendly neighbourhood witch is going to try destroying the moonstone. _Also_ also, Elena needs constant adult supervision because she keeps finding new and interesting ways to run off and get herself killed."

"Sounds like you could use an extra pair of hands."

He set the glass down. "I could definitely use something."

**...**

Bonnie and Jeremy walked back to his house after school. They'd taken Elena's car to school that morning, and Jeremy had his own key, but then the car hadn't started, and they'd both agreed it was more important to get home and check on Elena than to wait around for Triple A.

"Doesn't look like Jenna's home," Jeremy said, seeing that his aunt's car wasn't in its usual place in the driveway. Damon's blue camaro was nowhere in sight, either.

"So it's just... Elena, okay," said Bonnie. "Do you _not_ want to go in there as much me?"

"I'm not worried."

"You liar."

"Hey, magic ring, remember?"

"Because that will save you if she decides to just kick you in the -"

"Hey I'm not the one who shut her in there."

"Nice."

"Whatever, we both know who should really get the blame for this."

"Damon. Good point."

"Come on."

They continued up to the front door. It swung open before they got there. Elena stood just inside, stony-faced and silent and kind of scary.

Bonnie hung back, trying to think of something to say, but beside her Jeremy just said, "Hey."

Then he took Bonnie's wrist and pulled her with him as he pushed past Elena to get inside.

"Hey, you know the car has a flat battery or something?" he said once they were in.

"Shut up, Jeremy," Elena said. Then she turned to Bonnie. "How could you do this?"

"Elena -"

"Hey, don't blame her for this," Jeremy jumped in.

"Shut _up_, Jeremy," Elena said and grabbed for Bonnie's arm, stealing it from Jeremy's grasp - because he was still holding onto her and god _why_ hadn't she pulled away yet? There was no time to dwell because Elena was already towing her up the stairs. "I _need_ to talk to my _best friend_. Alone."

She glanced back at Jeremy for just a moment before quickening her steps to stop Elena from pulling her off her feet.

Elena rounded on her as soon as they were in her room with the door shut. "You're my best friend, you're supposed to be on my side."

"Elena, I _am!_"

"No, you're on _Damon's_ side, and god Bonnie, that is the last place I ever thought you'd be."

"Okay, please don't make me feel guilty for wanting you to stay alive. Best friends don't guilt trip best friends."

"Best friends don't put best friends _under house arrest_, Bonnie!"

That was it. If Elena wanted to stand around screaming about it, Bonnie was more than happy to join in.

"Best friends don't expect best friends to stand back and watch them be sacrificed in some crazy ancient blood ritual!"

"Actually that's exactly what best friends do if they know it's what their best friend needs them to do! It's called being supportive!"

"Yeah, if those best friends happen to live in crazy town maybe!"

Behind them the door opened suddenly. "Hey, don't you guys think maybe -"

They turned on him as one. "Shut up, Jeremy!"

"Whoa-kay..." Wide eyed, Jeremy backed out the way he had come.

They watched him go, then faced each other again.

And started to crack up.

"God, that was," Elena broke off, laughing.

"Our stupidest fight ever, yeah, I'm pretty sure."

Shaking her head, Elena sank down on the bed. Bonnie joined her. "I'm still mad at you," she said.

"Good," Bonnie replied. "I don't want you to give up."

"You know, Damon disconnected the battery in my car. Then he..."

"He what?"

"He took me out for breakfast."

"Okay."

"We talked about Stefan. Does he seem different to you?"

"I haven't really seen Stefan."

"No," Elena was frowning down at the bed spread between them, "Damon. He's... different. Maybe. I don't know."

"Different how?"

"Different... _wrong_. Or, different _not right_. Like... it's like he's lying."

"About what?"

"I don't know. I just feel like, I know he's lying about something."

"Do you think we can't trust him?"

"No, that's the weird part, I _know_ I can."

"Wow."

"What?"

"I... agree with you. Hey, I never thought I'd be on Damon's side either. He called me some cutesy nickname today and I wanted to reach through the phone and punch his stupid face. As far as I'm concerned, he hasn't changed, he's just this asshole who I hate. But my instincts are telling me he's okay. It's a witch thing, I kind of have to listen."

"Wow," Elena said, still frowning slightly. Then she blinked and focused on Bonnie again. She sighed, and fell back against the pillows. "I can't believe I'm sealed inside my own house. You're the worst best friend I've ever had."

"You're the _best_ best friend I've ever had. So, tough." She paused. "Don't tell Caroline I said that."

"What if there's a fire? What if I need to get out and I can't?"

Bonnie lay down beside her. "Then you call me, and I'll get you out."

**...**

Rose was, if nothing else, a good distraction.

Her 'I'll be your friend but your being in love with someone else is quite a turn-off' spiel lasted about five minutes.

Special friends it was.

He still didn't trust her to be of much use given her tendency to flee the scene, but she was an okay sounding board, and unlike almost everyone else in town, she didn't judge.

"So this is what you've been doing with yourself?"

Except for right now. She was totally judging him right now.

"Pretty much," he drawled, lifting the flask of whiskey to his lips.

"Sitting in your car, drinking and watching her house like a grade A stalker."

"You wanna talk or you wanna help me - drink. And stalk."

"I'll stay if you want company. But I don't think that's what you want."

"What do I want?"

"To go up to her."

"Gee, insightful."

"Gee, you can be a bastard, what a surprise." She smiled easily over at him. "But you can also be very sweet. It's a shame she doesn't see it."

He made a face. "Ugh, _sweet?_ That's it, you can go now."

"Maybe I should leave you to it. I do need to feed tonight."

He gestured with the flask. "Spare blood bag in the glove compartment."

She went to reach for it but paused. "You're taking blood to your brother, _and Katherine_, as well as providing for that newbie you told me about. And you're not feeding from humans yourself because Elena wouldn't like it -"

"Because it's less messy," he corrected. "And if there's one thing I need less of at the moment, it's messy."

"Still, maybe it's best I fend for myself."

"_Really_ don't need messy."

"No bodies. No memories. I've been hiding for a long time - these are not new concepts for me. You can trust me."

But he didn't, not yet.

It was surprising he was even bothering to give her a chance. He was getting soft in his old age. Maybe this was what a mid-life crisis felt like.

After Rose left to go feast on the blood of the innocent, he set the flask aside. He wasn't intending to get drunk, or even slightly buzzed, it was just there to dispel the boredom. With Rose gone, there was something else to do about that.

He listened.

Elena had been in her room for as long as he'd been sitting out here, some weepy indie girl music playing. He heard Jeremy complaining to Jenna about it at one point, so apparently it had been ongoing for a while. Hell, they'd had anger, apathy, alcoholic, suicidal, manipulative - emo Elena wasn't much of a stretch.

He listened beyond the soulful tones.

Most of the time a vampire had to filter out background noise - it all just became a low level droning he could choose to tune in to if he wanted. Otherwise all the millions of little sounds around him would be enough to drive the sanest person out of his mind.

And sometimes he didn't even have to actively listen at all - you kind of got a sense of what 'normal' sounded like, and it was only if something was off that it set some subconscious alarm bell ringing.

Sitting here, focused on every shift of the mattress springs as she turned over, even the scrawl of her pen and when she turned a page - footsteps outside her room as someone went downstairs - footsteps in her room as she moved around, went into the bathroom, closed the door. It really wasn't strictly necessary. It was actually kind of obsessive, bordering on pathetic.

But he didn't stop listening.

**...**

She added some old bath crystals she found in a drawer to the rising water in the tub before turning to close the door to her room. The music was somewhat muted in here, hardly an issue since the main reason for the music playing was that it bugged Jeremy and she was feeling vindictive in her choice of non-silent protest.

She undressed as the tub finished filling, tossing her clothes in the hamper before leaning over to shut the water off. For a moment the rippling surface of the water held the image of two faces - one her own, the other -

She gasped and let out a cry as she stumbled backwards, only just catching herself on the side of the vanity as her foot slipped on the floor mat. She pulled herself up and grabbed her towel from the back of the door, wrapping it hastily around her as she stared at the still water, her mind racing.

It wasn't real - he wasn't there, he never had been. Why did this keep happening? Was he in her head somehow? Had he gotten inside her mind when he compelled her? If he knew how to get to her, then why was he doing this - why hadn't he just come to take her already?

The thoughts tore through her mind in a second or two and then the door to her room burst open, causing her second heart attack in less than half a minute.

"What's wrong?" Damon demanded, quickly surveying the room before his eyes landed on her, backed against the vanity clutching the towel to her chest.

"What are you doing? Get out!" she hissed.

"What are _you_ doing? You screamed -"

"Why are you here? Did you break the - you broke the door, what is the matter with you?"

"What's the matter with me, what's the matter with you, in here screaming your head off for no reason."

"I - I _slipped_, okay, I'm fine. I didn't know you were lurking outside listening, ready to break my freaking door down."

They both fell silent then. Elena still holding the towel protectively to her body, Damon as he stared shrewdly, not believing her but not knowing why - there was no sign of anything wrong.

"Your heart's racing," he said.

"You scared me. And I'm -" She gestured down at her lack of attire. "And you're still _here_. Do you mind?" He made no sign of leaving, and she added, "Jenna's downstairs, I don't think you want her catching you up here like this."

He smirked at the threat. He smirked, but he also started backing out the door. "God forbid, something extremely inappropriate is clearly going on. Although she's pretty busy downstairs laughing at the Old Spice Guy commercial."

She shut the door in his face. Or tried to - the door knob was loose and the door wouldn't sit properly against the frame. How was she going to get this fixed without Jenna asking a million questions?

Not important right now. She shoved the wastebasket in front of the door to hold it closed while she hastily put her pyjamas on. Her bath wasn't going to happen. Not with Damon in her bedroom, and not when she couldn't even think about getting in that water now.

Thankfully her chosen pyjamas tonight weren't exactly revealing. They were the biggest, comfiest sweats she owned. She still felt exposed somehow when she stepped back into her room. He was sitting on the window seat, turning a throw pillow between his hands.

"Why are you here?"

"Really? That's something you're wondering?"

"It's not like I can go anywhere."

"And yet you managed to almost kill yourself getting into the bath." He was smirking as he got to his feet.

She couldn't exactly argue the point, seeing as it was her cover story. It was never an option to tell anyone about seeing Elijah. They were all so scared for her already - and willing to get pretty extreme about protecting her - and she didn't need that to get worse.

Besides, she might not understand what Elijah wanted from her, but he clearly wanted something. He terrified her, but her aim was to give herself up to Klaus so the fear she would just have to live with.

"Just - go away, Damon." She turned to her dressing table and grabbed a hairband, ignoring him as she started pulling her hair back into a loose bun.

"Rose came back today."

She paused. "I... don't care."

"Cranky. It's only one more day. No moonstone, no sacrifice. Maybe you'll be able to sleep again."

"You're crazy if you think that. Or stupid."

"Not everything is so doom and gloomy as you think. Hey, I told you my idea to get Stefan out of the tomb because I wanted you to know there _was_ a plan and that we can get him out of there - eventually. It won't be forever. There's, you know, hope. The sun'll come up... whenever. Puppies and rainbows for all."

"You mean, there's a way to get him out, but you won't use it because you think protecting me is more important."

"Which it is."

"And we don't know how long this go on for, it could be months. You know last night, after I saw Stefan, when the only place I could think to go was a liquor store - it was because... You know we've been broken up for weeks now and he's been shut up in the tomb for days but last night was the first time it felt like we were really... parted."

"Hey, it's - it's you and Stefan. You'll be fine."

"Don't, okay? I don't want you to tell me it's all going to be fine."

"You did last night."

"I said a lot of things last night I'm thinking better of today. And I do not need a pep talk from you."

"An attitude I would totally get if I was spewing empty platitudes at you and being really patronising while doing it - well maybe I'm doing that last part. But we all know this is just a bump in the road in the great journey of epic teen romance that is you and Stefan - you'll get over it, get back together, everything will be hearts and roses, so. What's with the whining and this mopey chick you've been delighting our eardrums with all night?"

She found herself staring at him like he was from outer space. "What is the matter with you?"

"Me?"

"You. What - what is it? No, I know you, Damon. You said you care about me, and fine, I believe you. I know you care, but it's like it's - not enough, like there's something missing. That _I'm_ missing." She was pacing now, thinking through it even as she talked. "And you keep saying these things to me, about how Stefan and I are destined to be together, and it's like you mean it, like you never told me all love is doomed and you haven't been mocking my relationship with Stefan every single day since it began. So... something is going on," she finished conclusively.

It was his turn to stare, as he listened to this. His expression wiped clean suddenly, hiding something that resembled pain, and he looked away. "You don't want me to go there, Elena."

"But I don't understand, I know there's something I'm missing, I can feel it. What changed?"

She found herself clutching her vervain pendant reflexively, she didn't know why.

None of this should matter. Just a few days ago she had been so sure nothing mattered at all because she was going to die and it was the only way and everything else was arbitrary, incidental, in the face of that truth.

Her fate, her curse, may as well have been written in stone. She was the doppelganger, and nothing had changed.

But it suddenly seemed very important that this happened. That they understand each other in this moment. She forgot being mad at him, she forgot Stefan and Katherine and Rose and Klaus. Whatever had been changing in him, she wanted to preserve it, even if she wasn't around long enough to see it last, and for that they needed to be honest.

"What changed? And why are you lying about it?"

"Look this isn't a big deal -"

"Then why do you care enough not to tell me?"

"Because I got over you, Elena. It's done. Forget it."

"What?"

"You heard me. I... had a... there was a thing, we all knew about it, it was hilariously ill-advised. You might remember how the last time this came up the conversation ended with me killing your baby brother. But see then I got over it, and though I still think you're a peach, now I just, you know, want you to be happy with the person who might actually be able to do that."

"If that's true..."

"It's true. And don't you want it to be true? Hey, I just disembowelled my soft and creamy emotional center all over your shoes, so do me a favour and don't dick me around here, Elena. It's always going to be Stefan, right? Right. So there's no reason to discuss any of this, right? Right again. Two for two. There's really no need to make this difficult for all involved, is what I'm saying."

"Difficult for me, you mean. The last time we talked about this, you didn't care about making things difficult for me. That's changed, too.'

He'd been keeping his distance this whole time, like he was afraid to come to close. Until suddenly he definitely wasn't.

"You might be more comfortable beating around the bush," he spoke more quietly, but with a lot more feeling behind it, as he stood close enough that if she moved at all she would be touching him, "But it makes me start thinking things. Like you might not know what you want. And you don't want me thinking that. Because if there was a chance for me I would be very interested to know that."

His nearness was confusing the issue as it so often had in the past, but she tried to remember how she'd asked for this honesty. It gave her the strength to look up and meet his gaze. "You got over me."

"Yes, Elena, because that sounds like something I would do."

His unspoken admission terrified her. She'd been so busy pushing him that she'd gone too far, and she retreated back into herself like a coward. And he let her go.

"Just say it," he prompted. "You love Stefan."

The weight of this moment hung heavy between them. It was too much to bear. "I love Stefan."

"See how much easier it is when we all tell the truth?"

"But that's not - Damon, I can't think about anything right now except saving all of you. "

"You can't save anyone from in here. That's the point."

She closed her eyes. And thought she felt the lightest brush of his hand on her hair. She opened her eyes to find him back across the room. "And I hate you for it."

"But it's easier this way, right?"

He wasn't talking about his plans to deal with the curse or Klaus, and neither was she when she said, "Thank you. For making it easier."

The last time they were in her room together, he had tried to force this same issue, and that awful encounter had ended with him destroying her whole world - or trying to.

Tonight she was the one pushing him to reveal himself. The conversation had ended and he was gone suddenly as abruptly as he had arrived - leaving her alone with the sense that she may as well have just destroyed his.

**...**

He could smell the fresh blood on her when she came and took a seat beside him on the steps of Elena's front porch. Ordinarily that would be sexy as hell but he was somewhat preoccupied.

"All quiet," Rose said.

The music had stopped; the house was silent. It was late, and all normal people were in bed asleep.

"You should go home," he said.

"I'll stay with you. I think you could use that company, now," she said, and then she was silent, too.

She wasn't the worst company in the world, Rose.

He just really wished that could be enough for him again.


End file.
